[0353] Typical Business Practices Of Internet Providers
└ posted on Thursday, 23 February 2012, by Novil
- Richard: I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to request my first-born daughter as payment for an internet connection.
- Armin Fish: It’s true that several lawsuits are pending in this matter. But we’ve won two of three trials and it’ll take several years until one of them reaches the Supreme Court.
- Richard: What are you doing with all these first-borns anyway?
- Armin Fish: Well, the fat and the scrawny are sent to do forced labor in North Korean coal mines or our call centers.
- Armin Fish: But for such a well-nourished calf, we have a much better use.
- Richard: Sandra, go to your room!
- Sandra: ?
![[0353] Typical Business Practices Of Internet Providers](/comics/2012-02-23-0353-typical-business-practices-of-internet-providers.png "[0353] Typical Business Practices Of Internet Providers")
Seriously, I have not read all 100 previous comments, but the last panel was the most disturbing of all– perhaps I’m too sensitive, working in the Los Angeles Unified School District where we’ve been weathering the storm of teachers sexually abusing students, but that drooling face and comment of your “cable” rep in the last panel was the most disturbing thing I’ve seen/read in a long time.
@ Draccoon:
No, I think elf, considering he has pointed ears, pointed teeth, weired extremely long eyelashes, and appears to be patting his stomach. Plus, elves are notorious children stealers.
@ NightStarX:
What started as a comment on the way people perceive the internet as enabling pedophiles resulted in a debate about the existence of slavery today. Some folks believe it’s just stories to scare people. Sorry to pull in the real world.
@ Greenwood Goat:
Or he could just be a cannibal dude.
possible solution for Richard, take Sandra’s place. better solution, take the coffee table and smash it on his head, stuff the dude’s tie and stuff it down his craw, and beat him with the vase while the nutcase tries to crawl away.
Let’s see here: Cloud and his family are all vigilante ninjas, Larissa is a pyromaniac, Woo is a very violent animal with very violent animal friends, and Sandra made GOD scared for his life! this poor cannibal/pedophile has no idea just what he’s dealing with.
@ coyoteBR: LOL! too true! – it’d get burnt down pretty quick!
@ illeatyourself:
The fat ones are forced to do hard labor. My guess is that this will make them slim down, and be more desireable. Cannibalism aside, I know I don’t like to eat a piece of meat that has too much fat on it.
…It made me think…Forced reproduction? ._.
I hope Cloud’s got the Ninja Tackle skills like Sandra. >.>
Woo should scratch this pervs eyes out.
creepy with a capitol C
@ Logical:
Well aren’t you a sexist one?
As a father, I can assure you it is just as dangerous to mess with our kids in front of us. We react just as quickly and just as violently. MY first instinct when people harm my little girl is to beat seven shades of shit out of them. I only don’t do it because she does it first, and I taught her how to do that. There’s nothing that makes women more protective than men. The only thing they have that we don’t are breasts, those are only useful in infancy, most women don’t use them anyway (and ladies, you really should, it’sbetterfor the baby than formula) and they have no impact on behaviour.
Compared to the business men that are in my comic (not related to this one in any way) this is child’s play at least they don’t turn into 50 ft monsters and destroy the world with black magic I hate buissness men their like devils on earth
“that’s my niece. she’s here to study in an american school”
Anonymous wrote:
I doubt a jury would convict you.
Even in California.
It’s worse than Cali here in the UK though.
That is, of course, assuming that you’ve already told him to get bent and rather than leaving, he actually tries to take her. If all he’s done is tell you you have to give her to him, you can’t shoot him.
See? SEE!? THIS is why you should always go with us, your trusty local mad scientists, for internet services!
All we ask is the OCCASIONAL donation of body parts and/or organs. They don’t even have to come from a living person! I think that’s PLENTY fair!
We also accept payment in plutonium, thorium, titanium or chemistry equipment.
Wonder what that entails. They are forced to go Door to Door? Forced to work as internet mods? Forced to preach against Net Neutrality?