[0628] The West Identity: Episode 1, Page 6
└ posted on Monday, 27 October 2014, by Novil
Update [28 October 2014]: I made two minor improvements to the track list.
- Dr. Larisa Kropotkin: Still won’t blow the whistle on your accomplices, huh?
- Sandrine West: Never!
- Dr. Larisa Kropotkin: You certainly know that the eighth amendment to the constitution forbids “cruel and unusual punishments.”
- Dr. Larisa Kropotkin: However it doesn’t say anything about banning cruel and unusual interrogation methods!
- Dr. Larisa Kropotkin: Mr. Wu, the CD, please.
- Sandrine West: ?
- Sandrine West: You guys aren’t humans, you’re monsters!
- CD: C.I.A. Compilation, vol. 3
1) Symphony of Crying Babies (10 min)
2) Baha Men: Who Let the Dogs Out? [Special Extended Version]
3) Justin Bieber: Smells Like Teen Spirit
4) Microphone Feedback, High-pitched and EXTRA LOUD (10 min)
5) Ylvis: What Does the Fox Say? [Polka Remix]
6) Carly Rae Jepsen: Lose Yourself
7) Fingernails on a Wet Blackboard (10 min)
8) Eiffel 65: Blue (Da Ba Dee) [Speed Up Version]
9) Rebecca Black: Sweet Child o’ Mine
Hey, Who let the dogs out and What does the fox say aren’t bad…
U forgot Crino’s perfect math class. And Marissa stole the precious thing.
Oh and heyeaheyeah.
Just a suggestion.
@ ░▒▓█│【Walkman】│█▓▒░:
Dosent have to be bad. Just annoying.
I loved track 8 so much I bought their album (but it turns out all their songs are fairly similar, especially the way they start, which is literally identical between all of them). But I’m surprised they didn’t go with the extended version.
Also track 5. Haven’t heard the polka version, but chances are greater than 50% that I’d like it.
Shoot, even #1 could be ok if it was done in a musical way.
Barney the Dinosaur’s “I Love You” song. 10 hour loop.
Pachelbel’s Canon is pretty awful too, if you loop it.
“It’s A Small World”. 10 hours of it.
They aren’t surprised that Woo is able to take verbal commands?
@ CptNerd:
You sir just made me cry inside. Also why isn’t Friday or Party Rock up there?
Some of those would be torturous (e.g. 1, 4, 7), others plain annoying (e.g. 8), but some of the others would be at least tolerable – 9 would depend on whether she was singing it straight or whether producers had autotuned it to hell and back (it surely couldn’t be worse than her debut single – could it?!). The polka remix of The Fox is bound to be entertaining, as are polka cover of pretty much any pop song (just ask Weird Al). Searching YouTube, there already is a polka cover: watch?v=n103GG5fwYw
There are far worse songs that could be used – the Uk’s produced some cringeworthy novelty tracks e.g. Grandma We Love You, Teletubbies Say Eh Oh, Mr. Blobby (play them at your peril!). Scientists once used certain Prokofiev compositions played at half speed to induce depression in subjects, while some of Hatsune Miku’s songs are glass-shatteringly high-pitched…
Has the whole world forgotten Sonny and Cher?
@ safetypin:
Someone didn’t listen to it enough, then… it puts me to sleep.
I live in the USA. The CIA uses torture methods that include, but are not limited to, waterboarding.
Isn’t chalk on a wet blackboard less likely to squeak?
At least she gets a breather during song #8, unless what I think is the original isn’t.
Chalk on wet blackboard?
Why not nail on blackboard?
Chalk on a *wet* blackboard? I haven’t heard of that before. I’m tempted to look it up on YouTube but… I would probably regret it it I did.
@ Petah-Petah:
Also, that list needs this song, extended by several minutes or hours: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAtd6NBvVA0
Not so fun fact: Actually this kind of torture exist.
First, they will tie someone in an empty room with concrete walls (to make the echo louder). Then they will put a small burlap sack on his/her head, covering their head. The burlap sack itself is wet and used to carry rotten fish for weeks or months (making it smell so pungent and nauseating). Then they will blast loud and super annoying sounds and/or songs on repeat for hours. It was designated to break someone’s mental resistance without giving them excessive body harm.
@ AckAckAck:
Yep. In fact, music from bands like Rage Against The Machine and other punk, hardcore-punk, and metal bands are used a lot by Guantanamo Bay. It’s a horrible method…
However, this strip is freaking hilarious as always XD
Justin Bieber: Smells Like Teen Spirit?
What is this? What is this? Why?
No need even for that. Considering her age and so forth, I doubt if she could handle Tales From Topographic Oceans by Yes, or any of the less-friendly King Crimson albums. Or if they really wanted to wear down her resistance, how about Wagner’s entire Ring cycle, played back-to-back, possibly watched from a viewing setup like the one in A Clockwork Orange. Or worse…
Sandrine West: …NO, ONO, NO NO, ONOOOO! THAT’S ALL I KNOW! PLEASE…!
Dr. Kropotkin: Excellent! Thank you, Ms. Ono-Lennon, that will be all. Agent Cloud will show you out.
Williams Cloud: Come this way please… yes, yes – I know that you haven’t been able to give a complete performance of your one-woman show yet, but the US Government still appreciates your help. Plus, even the we of the CIA can only go so far in ignoring the Geneva Convention…
>:=)>
About that cruel and unusual punishment clause: note the AND operator there. Unusual punishment is permitted, as long as it is not cruel. The converse also holds, cruel but usual punishment is permissible under that standard. Furthermore, the usual in the clause should be read in the light of the times it was written in. As long as a punishment was usual in 1789 it can be used.
That’s not too bad. Now if they really wanted to torment her, they’d have dug out William Shatner’s “Greatest Hits” or “The Two Sides of Leonard Nimoy”.
@ safetypin:
Hey! If you loop the WHOLE song it’s not bad…. also why is lose yourself up there?
@ CptNerd:
That has been banned by the Geneva Conventions.
I’m kinda confused…maybe I missed a comic or two back a while but I don’t think I did. Why have Cloud and Larisa been interrogating Sandra? I get that they think she is a terrorist…but why?
Justin Bieber Smells Like Teen Spirit? Why did you do that, Noovil? Do you know what hell have you unleashed upon the world and the minds of your readers?
You forgot Nicki Minaj! Any sane person would be tortured listening to that (Specifically Pound the Alarm, You a stupid H** are best examples)
@ Greenwood Goat:
Or the intro from sound chaser on 200% volume on a 10 hour loop. Or the craziest parts from ritual. Or five per cent for nothing
@ Greenwood Goat:
And a curious fact. I’m 15, and I’m a huge fan of yes. On 2013, Yes came to Chile. Watched them on first row. They played 3 whole albums in a 3-hour long concert. Close to the edge, going for the one and the yes album. And the encore was roundabout. And the 24th Jon Anderson came to Chile too. Also watched him. I’ve been to lots of concerts, but nothing will compare to those hours I lived on the theater they played on. And not only yes. I LOVE King Crimson, Genesis, Emerson Lake and palmer, rush, Marillion, Dream Theater, Kansas, Tangerine Dream, Rick Wakeman, Chris Squire, Styx, The Alan Parson’s Project, Focus, Tool, Vangelis, Peter Gabriel, etc.
Sandra please, just talk! It’s not worth it!
@ Dante:
THAT meets the criteria of things proscribed under the Eighth Amendment. Right along side of CptNerd’s suggestion
Why is Sandra being interrogated?
…This is the song that never ends…..and Loop.
I…I liked Eiffel 65 ;_;
Kid Icarus Reaper theme 10 hours?
Make her play action 52! All of it! >:)
Or make her watch “Birdemic”
Or force her to listen to “Living in the sulight, Loving in the moonlight” on a 20 hour loop
safetypin wrote:
Depends on the version. Mattrach’s version is still epic after hitting replay dozens and dozens of times. I am speaking from experience.
Funny thing: the crying babies, chalk on a board and microphone feedback would actually be much easier on the ears than the rest of the “songs” on that CD!
OK, I actually want to hear the polka remix of What Does The Fox Say. Weird Al, make it happen!
I grew up in a heavily polka-loving area (Southeast Pennsylvania, in Bethlehem) and I admit I don’t dislike it and think people knock it unnecessarily.
@ Vidad:
Methinks you misinterpret the use of the and, also changing the conjunction doesn’t create legality. The statement has been interpreted by numerous courts to essentially say cruel and/or unusual punishment with the standards of cruelty or unusuality being subject to modern sense. Tar and feathering was not an unusual punishment when the constitution was written, but it is now.
Hey now what’s wrong with “Blue”?
There is no Polka Remix of “What the Fox Say.” I looked. However, there is an “Annoying Orange” remix of it! That’s almost as bad!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J19z4VTCR9M
Am I missing something?
Nirvana sung “Smells like teen Spirit” not Baby Bieber
Eminem sung “Lose yourself” not CRJ
Guns And Roses sung “Sweet child of mine”…
What the heck!
A lot of people have some great suggestions for alternate songs on that CD… but remember, this is volume 3! The Barney song is on Volume 1, just after “The Bird is The Word”, and just before 1,000 bottles of Beer on the Wall”
(the original mix was supposed to be 100,000 bottles of beer on the wall, but the singers involved had a breakdown in the middle of the song and are now in a comfortable white room).
Petah-Petah wrote:
You, sir, are evil, and clearly must be destroyed!
I don’t understand what the point of this arc is.
It isn’t making any sense as to what the plot / concept is.
Was ist der Sinn davon?