[0721] Goldman Sachs Does The Right Thing
└ posted on Thursday, 24 September 2015, by Novil
- Caption: Goldman Sachs, sincerely concerned that imprisoning 47 million SnapPic users could lead to the total collapse of American civilization, decided to do the right thing – at least this one time – and lobbied successfully for a general amnesty.
- Caption: While Goldman Sachs had to dip deep into its vault for that, the strengthened relationship with the President and Congress eventually paid off after only a few years.
- Caption: 24 carat pure gold
- Caption: Little changed, thank goodness, for Larisa. Firstly, it’s always been social suicide to bully the prettiest girl in school. Secondly, her schoolmates were way too afraid for that anyway…
- Larisa: Cool, my 5000th new watcher on DeviantArt!
- Sandra: Chris Hansen must be extremely interested in that list.
- Caption: … either of Larisa herself,
- Caption: … or of her best friend and his family.
- Caption: Landon, on the other hand, wasn’t immune to some teasing.
- Benjamin: Hey, Landon! Bow chicka wow wow!
- Caption: … But that quickly died down.
- Theo: Teasing doesn’t work that well when your envy is oozing out of every orifice.
- Benjamin: What does he have that I don’t?!
- Caption: So in the end, everybody was happy…
- Caption: … except, of course, John Kiriakou, the famous C.I.A. whistleblower, who was the only person exempted from the general amnesty and sentenced to 20 years in prison for his crime.
Larisa lucked out. I want 5000 dA watchers :c
Hey look, male Zoey and Michelle.
CLoud family panel is epic, and Landon/Larisa look adorable,
Good wrap-up. Let me say again Sandra and Woo is one of most unpredictable and surprisingly comics on the web. Keep pushing the envelope to areas we can’t imagine. Well done!
@ Steven:
If they’re the male Zoey and Michelle, gotta wonder whom they really envy…
How dare Goldman Sachs fritter their money away on saving American civilization! I loaned them six grand, and I want to see every dime of it!
So Cloud is her best friend now – burn, Sandy, burn.
(…is that Bill and Hillary?)
“After only a few years”…
Did we subtly and suddenly jump a few years of time? Was the purpose of this arc to make the characters age all of a sudden? Or is that a narrator from the future?
Larisa is fearsome, Cloud and Ye Thuza beyond ominous but for sheer, screaming, nightmarish terror the look on Yuna’s face and the steaming, sparkling test tube in her Nitrile gloved hand win hands down. Don’t. Mess. With. Larissa.
@ Sarusig:
I would guess it’s a narrator from the future. If we were doing a timeskip, I’d except the characters to be looking older by the end of the comic.@ Sarusig:
“What does he have that I don’t?”
Brains, natural kindness, altruism, and glasses. Chicks dig the glasses.
Poor kiriakou – just got freed a few months ago from his whistleblowing sentence, and they jail him for another crime ? Harsh 🙂 (plus, 20 years is a very harsh sentence for this kind of illegal possession) – guess in S&W universe, CIA really holds grudges 🙂
Congrats Larisa, you almost broke Teh Internets! Good luck next time! _\\\\
5,000 watchers on DeviantArt!! I feel a little pressure to satisfy what little watchers I do have on DA, but damn, that is a lot of people with way more expectations than random doodles!
And as much as Chris Hansen whats that list, chances are that most of them benefit form double jeopardy protection. What a tweeest!
@ Malcadon:
Double jeopardy would only protect those people from the crimes they have been prosecuted for 🙂 so still, if those people get caught by hansen or anyone else commiting new crimes, even of the same nature, they can and will hopefully be prosecuted for those 🙂 sooo – they should consider themselves to be on a watchlist 😉
I love that callback with the “envy oozing out of every orifice”
What does Kiriakou have to do with any of this? Or is it just a jab at the person who exposed CIA torture methods?
LOL… Landon wasn’t immune? He seems pretty immune to me… Or you drawing just doesn’t show the expression which I expect for “not immune”… He is like “What is that?” maybe, but definitely doesn’t seem concerned…
Perhaps Larissa took some lessons from Ivanova?
Boom Shabba Labba, BOOM.
https://youtu.be/_ADGYli7418
Sex Earth style…
I’m surprised that Larissa didn’t inspire Sandra to try something similar (and more covert and careful) with Cloud… 😛
The feels. I feel them
@ Shanunu:
I have -13-. It’s going to take a while…
I’ve been following this comic for a while, but this is my first comment, I think. I came just to say the following.
Studies have shown US presidents are taller than the average american.
Presuming the president is 6 feet tall…
At current prices, that means the ball of gold pictured has a value of about $2.2billion US.
Given the US alone has gold valued at 8,133,500,000,000,000 in storage, it’s quite possible to actually get yourself a gold ball of that size, presuming you had the money, and were willing and able to pay for shipping and handling.
@ Sgt_flyer:
Unfortunately, people in the states have crazy assumptions on how the law works thanks to cop shows and movies.
Would a 24k gold disc of this size actually be able to hold up under its own weight? Randall, get on that.
Did you know that there’s a prison visiting organization named
Angulimala after a murderer Buddha
reformed?
@ Teddy Boragina:
Which admittedly seems like an awful lot, until you consider that Goldman Sachs has $800 billion in assets globally, so it’d only be about a third of a percent of that.
Although I think you might be a tad off on how much gold the US actually has. Officially the US government has around 8,000 tonnes of it; which current market value puts at just shy of $300 billion. Again, a lot, but perspective; at any given time there’s around $1.3 trillion dollars of US currency floating around. Which is one of the reasons why the US (along with most of the world) went off the gold standard a long time ago.
I’m just disappointed that nobody apparently thought to check the President’s (and the CEO of Goldman Sachs’) inboxes for pictures of Larisa. Or of OTHER interesting pictures.
Goldman Sachs doing a good deed? Talk about a flight of fancy.
So… That happened.
@ Teddy Boragina:
Huh. Fascinating.
How big would a similarly valuable sphere of platinum be?
Just one word: Top
@ Sarusig:
You’re trying to apply logic to a comic. Go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.
When did Larisa become the prettiest girl in their school?
Is that an established fact?
@ Alex C:
Also, he’s got Larissa.
Bedinsis wrote:
It is a commonly held opinion. I believe that Cloud and Zooey are the only students who disagree. ^_^
Djorra wrote:
It’s a jab at using flimsy reason to punish political opponents.
Aaaaand the other shoe drops. Was wondering where the political end of this arc was going.
@ Malcadon:
Nope.
Doubly jeopardy doesn”t work like that. Doesn’t work the way it did in that one stupid movie where the guy framed his wife who then murdered him or realsies later either.
Double Jeopardy, explained very roughly and avoiding a lot of legalese, means you cannot be re-tried for the same specific offense by the same court after A) you are sentenced or B) you are found innocent/not guilty. IF another court has jurisdiction, they too may try the case (such as an appeal to a higher court, or if your crime occurred across multiple jurisdictions).
In this case, 47 million adults are jailed on suspicion of possession of child pornography. 46,999,999 of them are released as part of a general amnesty for who cares what reason. As they never went to trial, if they were later discovered to have retained that same picture, they could be tried for that crime, and possibly face a more severe sentencing for violating the amnesty.
If they were found to be later in possession of a pornographic image o the same minor, its a different case because it’s a different instance, so while they could be tried for porn there would be no violation of amnesty but they would probably get a more severe sentence anyways because they are intentionally breaking the law.
@ MidoriLuna:
Interesting question since 24 is pure, its the softest, its weight i think would mean that in time it would have a flat on the bottom of the disk or ball.
@ Alex C:
You forgot the most important one – – – Landon has Larissa! Duh!
Title… makes no sense…. Brain cannot grasp…. ARAGHAGGGHHH!
Called it! =)
I still wanna know what “real present” Larisa got Landon for his birthday.
Teddy Boragina wrote:
It would also weigh more than 500 tons. I guess the White House has strong floors.
@Identity withheld
I was wondering the same thing, especially since she was blushing when she promised it.
That’s a flat-out lie.
Kiriakou pleaded guilty to disclosing classified information about a fellow CIA officer that connected the covert operative to a specific operation.
He served 30 MONTHS…
Hope I’m not getting myself in trouble here, but this seems relevant to the topic at hand:
http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Justice/2015/0924/When-does-teen-sexting-become-child-porn
This took a surrealistic turn.
…which means everything is normal for this comic. Carry on!
Did anybody else read the narration with Morgan Freeman’s voice?
Just asking…
@ Disloyal Subject:
Interesting! Platinum is worth less than gold currently, but is a denser material than gold. If we say the golden puck is 60 tons, worth around 2.2 billion, and has a volume of 3.1 cubic meters; then a similar worth of platinum would weigh 72 tons, and have a volume of 3.3 cubic meters. So, it’d be a slightly bigger platinum puck.
Ye Thuza is a bamf. Awesome look to her.
And happy endings (mostly) all around!
Well, that’s over, in a suitably absurd way.
I think what we need now is some good Sandra/Cloud fluff.
Oh well, the CSI folks should be happy now with the size of their database
Their database manager, however…
Agarax wrote:
well, the white house has had the floors strengthened no less than four times.
Once, the floors were so weak, a guest playing a piano had to flee when the piano started falling thru the floors.