## [0880] Math Test

└ posted on Monday, 24 April 2017, by Novil

**Blackboard:** Today: Math test
**Mrs. Gallagher:** You may turn over the exercise sheets in a moment. But first, I’d just like to say…

**Mrs. Gallagher:** BWA HA HA HA

**Mrs. Gallagher:** HA HA HA HA HA

**Mrs. Gallagher:** Good luck, puny mortals!
**Sandra:** I told them, “Don’t T.P. her bike!” But would they listen to me? No!

Sandra and Cloud apparently chose the tables right next to the teacher’s desk. Nice to see that they take their studies seriously.

TP her bike? Heck I disassembled it and hid the pieces, and left her a map to find all but one piece which I will mail to her in a month or two.

TP means teleport? Because that would be awesome.

A brief sample of questions on the test:

(No calculators, of course)

1. I am thinking of a number. What is it?

2. If you take the square root of that number, and multiply that number by 217, what do you get?

3. What is 38932833*4083408902?

4. Steve is trying to play a prank on his friend Dan. Steve throws a watermelon at Dan, which breaks upon hitting the ground. Approximately how much of the content of a watermelon is water?

5. 2 is to 4 as 8 is to what?

6. Is there a God?

7. Factor: X^8-7x^7+14x^6-14x^5+27x^4-14x^3+14x^2-7x+1

8. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

9. Write the first line of the Magna Carta in binary.

10. A man has $412. An apple costs $2 and an Apple Watch costs $200. He leaves with 8 items. Who is the Prime Minister of Pakistan?

@ Kaze Koichi:TP means Toilet Paper, which usually means winding toilet paper around the frame and lacing it through the spokes.

@ Hugh Mann:1) I have no clue ** this converted to numbers using unicode becomes 1235.

2) About 7625.

3) 1.6 e+17

4) 92%

5) 2 squared is 4, and 8 squared is 64.

6) Yes, and her name is Mrs. Gallagher

7) The x intecepts are roughly: 2.966, 0.337, 3.985, and 0.251

An alternative form is (1 + (-4 + x) x (1 + x^2)) (1 + (-3 + x) x (1 + x^2)), which is it’s best factor using only integers.

8) Possible answers: A woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Assuming chuck meant throw: About 700 pounds

Assuming chuck was the opposite of upchuck, and meant eat: about 22 in^3

9) The first line is: JOHN, by the grace of God King of England, Lord of Ireland, Duke of Normandy and Aquitaine, and Count of Anjou, to his archbishops, bishops, abbots, earls, barons, justices, foresters, sheriffs, stewards, servants, and to all his officials and loyal subjects, Greeting.

If we convert it to binary, we get:

01001010 01001111 01001000 01001110 00101100 00100000 01100010 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100111 01110010 01100001 01100011 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01000111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01001011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01000101 01101110 01100111 01101100 01100001 01101110 01100100 00101100 00100000 01001100 01101111 01110010 01100100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01001001 01110010 01100101 01101100 01100001 01101110 01100100 00101100 00100000 01000100 01110101 01101011 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01001110 01101111 01110010 01101101 01100001 01101110 01100100 01111001 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01000001 01110001 01110101 01101001 01110100 01100001 01101001 01101110 01100101 00101100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01000011 01101111 01110101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01000001 01101110 01101010 01101111 01110101 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100011 01101000 01100010 01101001 01110011 01101000 01101111 01110000 01110011 00101100 00100000 01100010 01101001 01110011 01101000 01101111 01110000 01110011 00101100 00100000 01100001 01100010 01100010 01101111 01110100 01110011 00101100 00100000 01100101 01100001 01110010 01101100 01110011 00101100 00100000 01100010 01100001 01110010 01101111 01101110 01110011 00101100 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 01101001 01100011 01100101 01110011 00101100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110100 01100101 01110010 01110011 00101100 00100000 01110011 01101000 01100101 01110010 01101001 01100110 01100110 01110011 00101100 00100000 01110011 01110100 01100101 01110111 01100001 01110010 01100100 01110011 00101100 00100000 01110011 01100101 01110010 01110110 01100001 01101110 01110100 01110011 00101100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 01100110 01101001 01100011 01101001 01100001 01101100 01110011 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101100 01101111 01111001 01100001 01101100 00100000 01110011 01110101 01100010 01101010 01100101 01100011 01110100 01110011 00101100 00100000 01000111 01110010 01100101 01100101 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00101110 00100000 00101101 00100000 01010011 01100101 01100101 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110100 00111010 00100000 01101000 01110100 01110100 01110000 01110011 00111010 00101111 00101111 01110111 01110111 01110111 00101110 01100010 01101100 00101110 01110101 01101011 00101111 01101101 01100001 01100111 01101110 01100001 00101101 01100011 01100001 01110010 01110100 01100001 00101111 01100001 01110010 01110100 01101001 01100011 01101100 01100101 01110011 00101111 01101101 01100001 01100111 01101110 01100001 00101101 01100011 01100001 01110010 01110100 01100001 00101101 01100101 01101110 01100111 01101100 01101001 01110011 01101000 00101101 01110100 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110011 01101100 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100011 01110011 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110011 01101000 00101110 01100101 01100110 01001011 01101001 01001011 01101000 01000010 01010110 00101110 01100100 01110000 01110101 01100110

10) Nawaz Sharif

@ Mystik:but did you use a calculator? (anything that calculates anything is a calculator! EVEN YOUR BRAIN!!!)

@ Mystik:I’m pretty sure using Google automatically gives you an F. 😛

@ Hugh Mann:+1 for watermelon joke. 😀

@ Pig Lord:Nope! I made random numbers for each problem until they aligned with the correct answers. It took a few billion repetitions (I got lucky), but no calculation was involved. The correct answer set was then selected and submitted.

@ Mystik:Ah, much like Al Zimmerman’s programming contests.

Come over to the nerd side, we have π.

@ Mystik:LOL, you smart-ass.

@ Mystik:1. Wrong. 23.

2. Also wrong, 1040.695 is correct.

3. Obviously, you have to show work because calculators weren’t allowed. Partial credit.

4. You probably looked that up on Google. One point for Google.

5. Wrong. 2+2 is 4, and 8+2 is 10.

6. Correct.

7. I don’t remember what the actual factored equation is. So… scratch this.

8. Correct.

9. Correct… I think.

10. Wrong. The square root of 9 is 3.

Score: 3.5/10. 35%, an F.

Google: 1/10. 10%, also an F.

Now go do something productive.

sooooooooooooooooooooooo, no explaination for the last strip?

@ dudeman:Inception. The last four years of SandW has been a dream! :O

One little bogrolling incident turns mathematician into megalomaniac… and so the cycle of retribution continues, with her cycle getting the TP treatment again later that day! >:=)>

And that, dear children, is why you don’t piss off the teacher

Hugh Mannwrote:8: According to Wolf from Blade Bunny Comic. “3079 pounds of wood per year”

6: Again according to Wolf, if he does exist he can make a Rock heavier then he can move.

Meet Mrs. Lang. My 7th grade LA teacher. A student in her class: “Is F- even a possible grade?

@ Micah T Mlyniec:I don’t know about that school, but at the school I went to, E was a possible grade between D and F. If you got an E for the course, you were allowed to bring it up to a passing grade at summer school. An F meant you had to retake the course from scratch.

I had a Math teacher EXACTLY like that.

If Yuna were involved, the TP might actually mean teleport.

5. It’s either ^2|•2|+2 so 64|16|10, respectively.

Hugh Mannwrote:No, that’s too easy, some of this is theoretically solvable, even Švejk problem. Really good retaliation requires a Kobayashi Maru type questions, for example 2+2= a)-infinity b)NAN c)’); DROP TABLE students

Wow this school has seriously hot and interactive staff…

I think this teacher is hotter than Larisa…

Through it may just be the psychotic rage… I am so attached by this kind of crazy

Huh. So the last storyline is left as-is, then?

Cruel. There’s good storytelling cruel and there’s bad storytelling cruel, and this isn’t the former.

@ hitomi2500:Heh heh, XKCD. 🙂

“Little Bobby Tables”.

I feel that number 5 is the worst, because there are literally an infinite amount of answers. 2+2=4, 8+2=10; 2*2=4, 8*2=16; 2↑2=2^2=4, 8↑2=8^2=64; 2↑↑2=2↑2=4, 8↑↑2=8↑8=8^8=16777216; 2↑↑↑2=2↑↑2=4, 8↑↑↑2=8↑↑8=8↑8↑8↑8↑8↑8↑8↑8=8^8^8^8^8^8^8^8=some giant number. I could go on, you can look at Knuth’s uparrow notation, but I think we both get the idea.

Don’t upset the cycling Gallaghers! (I’m one of them).

I got an H for fouth form maths. Maths, yuck.

Legitimately me whenever I get to give assessments, tests, and/or quizzes. Feels good.

@ Hugh Mann:answer to no. 8 About 700 pounds.

https://www.quora.com/How-much-wood-would-a-woodchuck-chuck-if-a-wood-chuck-could-chuck-wood

a more intresting question is “how many monks could a chipmonk chip, if a chip monk could chip monks”

Seriously, what is TP?

ratfoxwrote:wrap in toilet paper…

in general it is not that difficult to get rid of it if its clean and you have knife to cut it away rather then disentagling it….

Lartekwrote:so hot one? 😀 I envy that 😀

So I must ask, am I the only one finding this math teacher kinda hot ?

Lowin Bayrodwrote:no…

damn, i would have loved to see a teacher like her when i was in school, i’m sure i would have gotten along with her.

Also, TP a teacher’s bike? what is this ? grade school??

Hell, i(or anyone else) i know ever did stuff like that. must be an american thing..

I guess she used to be a dragon or something. Never seen such a kind, normal person like her.

1. 1

2. 1

3. 1

4. 1%

5. 1

6. Only if a paradox was hard and easy to solve.

7. 1

8. 1 pound. Maybe.

9. 1 (With some extra zeros and ones!)

10. The Prime Minister of Pakistan’s name is Number One. Just kidding.

Final

1. According to the bible what is pi?

2. What is so special about the number 1729?

3. How many dimensions does String Theory require?

4. What will be the value of goodLuck after the following code is run?

double goodLuck = 1;

for (double i = 0; i < math.random() * 100; i += 1 + math.random ()) {

goodLuck *= i;

}

5. Prove that P == NP

6. Prove that P != NP

7. Who was the first mathematician to discover the number 7?

8. If the number 10 is not in base 10, what is it equivalent to in base 10?

9. What is the Axiom of Choice and why is it incompatible with the Axiom of Determinacy?

10. Assuming you can count at a rate of 1 number per second, how much longer will it take you to count a set of uncountably infinite objects as opposed to a set of just countably infinite objects?

Extra Credit: verify #10 experimentally

All the math teachers reading this are now going to become Empowered. Quiver in dear indeed heheheheh.

As a teacher, I find this comic hilarious! (I wouldn’t do it in real life, though — okay, maybe as a joke.)

@ Megan:You should! Maybe not the evil test, but the maniacal laugh would be interesting.

Trackman1997wrote:Technically, the answer is all numbers, real and imaginary. What you can do is subtract 2, multiply by some value, and then add 4. That allows you to get anything.

Weertangelwrote:Yup, she would have been my favorite teacher; Voted “Most likely to become a mad scientist and take over the world.” in the HS yearbook.

@ Hobbes:Very true

[USER__ERROR]wrote:1. The bible probably doesn’t care.

2. It is the smallest number expressible as the sum of two cubes in two different ways.

3. I don’t have the competence required to answer this question

4. The code is incorrect and won’t run, the value stays the same after a compile & run attempt.

5. Algebra 101.

P = NP

P – NP = 0

6. Mathematically impossible.

7. Your mom.

8. There is an infinite variety of correct answers for this one and I won’t list them all.

9. I don’t have the competence required to answer this question. (I’m SO original)

10. The answer is undefined.

Extra Credit: I did and you can’t prove that I didn’t since this is a written test.

@ [USER__ERROR]:1. 3 (famously)

2. It is the smallest “Taxicab number” (a number expressible as the sum of two cubes in two different ways), so named due to a famous comment by an ailing Ramanujan.

3. Depends on the version, but M-theory is formulated in 11 dimensions.

4. 0 (was that on purpose or an accident?)

5. I can solve any NP-complete problem just by a single constant-time lookup in a table of the solutions for all inputs. QED.

6.

$ python

>>> “P” != “NP”

True

7. Dr. Seven, of course. Hence the name.

8. The number 10. (I’m taking you *very* literally)

9. The Axiom of Choice just says that you can always pick an element of each set in a collection of sets, even if you don’t provide an explicit rule for how to do so. The Axiom of Determinacy says that if you and I want to play a game with infinitely many turns, where the rules of the game somehow determine the winner from the (infinite) sequence of moves, then there must be some guaranteed-win strategy possible for one of us for that game. But the Axiom of Choice says it’s always possible, for each “guaranteed-win strategy”, to choose one of the strategies for the other player and change the game rules to add that sequence of moves to the list of games won by the other player, even if we can’t think of an explicit rule for making that choice, and keep on doing that for both players, out to infinity. So the Axiom of Choice lets us design a game (with infinitely complicated rules) with no winning strategy for either player, despite the Axiom of Determinacy saying that no such game can exist.

10. Infinitely.

Question 1. What is the ultimate answer?

Question 2. If Larissa sets the school on fire, how many tons of CO2 will be released into the atmosphere after a set period of 24 hours.

Question 3. If 2b does not equal 2b, then what is the question?

Question 4. What is the air speed velocity of laden african swallow carrying a toy yoda?

Question 5. If given a infinitely powerful calculator, how long will it take to calculate an infinitely complex equation?

Question 6. Calculate the amount of expenses your parents spend on you in an average year and factor in medical bills due to the circumstances of your birth. If you are an orphan, calculate the taxes spent by the state on you instead.

Question 7. Estimate the income of a campus staff worker based on the car they drive.

Question 8. Sign your name in cursive while using binary

Question 9. What is the square root of evil?

Question 10. Determine your score for this test if all right answers a worth two points while all wrong answers are negative two points. Justify answers 1 through 9.

so I search the web and found this as a good question.

Cut up the Greek letter Pi into five pieces. Then re-arrange the five pieces to make a square. Is there more than one way?

@ blittleton:First thought; how in the blazes would you create

anyquadrilateral usingfive sides?I cheated and looked it up, very good puzzle! 😀

The problem went right over my head.

Indiana once attempted to pass a bill that would have effectively defined the value of Pi as 3.2, lol.

@ Megan:You have to do the maniacal laughter. And slowly pet a cat while spinning in your chair.

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?