[1067] Shippers Are A Menace To Society
└ posted on Thursday, 14 March 2019, by Novil
The new strip comes a few hours late because I rewrote the whole dialog this morning since I wasn’t completely happy with the first version.
- Michelle: Did you play tennis with Julia yesterday?
- Zoey: Nah, it–
- Gilligan: Hello! I’m Gilligan! I’m sure most of you are just as upset as me that Zoey still doesn’t have a girlfriend despite being such an adorable cutie pie.
- Gilligan: Zoey’s into sporty, tall girls with dark hair. I’m sure you all see how Julia would be a perfect fit for her. So let’s all work together to make this ship happen!
- Zoey: AAAAAAAAAA
- Gilligan: Just imagine how happy Zoey would be if she could give Julia a long, sloppy kiss and– Hey, back off…! Krrr
- Zoey: AAAAAHH
![[1067] Shippers Are A Menace To Society](/comics/2019-03-14-1067-shippers-are-a-menace-to-society.png "[1067] Shippers Are A Menace To Society")
Poor Zoey (and that’s a first). I am glad you rewrote the dialogue even if I am sure it was great, because this one can hardly be improved upon. 🙂
Yeah… Gilligan is definitely not a great shipper, if he doesn’t see the issue of Julia being able to hear this too. Like, it’s one thing to recruit some help. Even from a large number of people. But you still need to control the flow of information, geez.
I want to thank the guy who wrote Novil 20 emails for making these strips happen. They are hilarious.
Arent wrote:
I wonder how many more he’s written since it started?
OMG! This is far beyond shipping, this is harassment! :O
Is anyone shipping Zolligan yet? 🙄
When did it become common knowledge that Zoey was gay. I thought with exception to Larisa, it was still considered a secret?
VideoGeekJT wrote:
Just now.
Ok I have to admit – this guys dedication simply has to be admired.
Onward the Light brigade!
VideoGeekJT wrote:
Non-canon side-story I’d say. I mean, the “real life shipper” thing is too weird… Or so I hope. 🤔
Stop torturing my favorite villain!
They’re never going to find his body.
Poor Zoey is having a nightmare.
Not sure if she’s asleep though.
The one disposing of him is either Larissa – or Julia…
This is so spot on. This is exactly how shipping IRL would be like. And no, Gilligan is not an exaggerated shipper. They all come like this, and the devastation is always great. The joke here is just the meta level, and it’s brilliant.
Kudos@ Novil:
Larissa either needs to teach him how to do it right or burn him. Or both.
Yeah. My guess is Zoey did not want or need to be THAT much out of the closet.
What the hell? O__O
O.K. Someone needs to unleash Larissa on that guy. It would be a nice follow-on to Zoey saving her boyfriend.
Larrissa’s methods tend to be a bit extreme for most people, but I don’t think Gilligan would react to a giant Anvil.
Poor Zoey, for the first time I really feel sympathy for her. It is really awkward for a teenager to have your secret crushes – be they real or just assumed – publically discussed and pushed like that, and on top of that he is just publically outing her as a lesbian when she obviously wasn’t ready for that.
I can somewhat relate because some of my highschool bullies did something similar to me and a girl from my year, though not with Gilligan’s enthusiasm but rather with the malicious intent to make us feel awkward and cause drama. I was the fat intelligent class nerd and she was the ugly nerdy wallflower from a parallel course. I actually got along quite well with her and we sometimes spent the breaks together, we had some common ground because we were both bullied, but I couldn’t imagine her as a partner, because she had some really annoying habits, had a completely different style (I was a metalhead, she was exclusively into classical music and dressed like my grandma) and frankly, she was ugly, I felt zero physical attraction to her (I wasn’t much of a looker myself and wouldn’t blame her if she thought the same about me). During the Christmas holidays, someone faked love letters for Christmas for both of us (and they did a fairly good job in imitating our handwriting and our supposed style, but the contents were cringeworthy) and when school started again, they spread the rumor that there was something going between us, that we had been making out, etc. Luckily, we both were suspicious about the letters and could clear it out quite quickly, but it was horribly awkward and it would have been ten times worse if they had picked a girl I actually had a crush on.
Somebody call the coroner, cause Gilligan is dead after this.
Zoey’s revenge will be swift and terrible, like a spider in the shower.
I knew shippers were insane… But to think he’d sabotage all hope of ever seeing this ship from sailing by doing something this stupid…
Sal Wolffs wrote:
His body is inside a swarm of squirrels brought together for this one mission.
Poor, poor Zoey…
Huh… I didn’t know Gilligan was a self-insert…
“What? How? How come?”
Just think about it. Means well (enough), has clearly some right ideas and starts out like a pro with them, is dedicated and hard working…
And when the ball starts rolling, it steamrolls with all the strength and subtlety of an avalanche into whole new extremes that are kinda in the right direction, but would have been way well enough being left alone and untouched.
While the mastermind himself is left completely oblivious to what has transpired. 😀
I mean, if this was a conscious choice, huge kudos for the self-troll. XD
(… Did… did he just out Zoey as a lesbian to the entire school? All their teachers? And now through the grapevine, potentially all their parents and a significant portion of the community?
I know this is meant to be funny and mocking, but dang… Zoey’s far from perfect, and has been a bully herself, but nothing she’s been relatively better recently, and nothing she did ever approaches this, at least not that I can remember… I actually feel bad for her here, it’s pretty horrible to have that part of her publicly revealed.)
So this “Gilligan” boy is really living up to his name, isn’t he? This is one amazingly stupid boy.
So which one gets to perform the Justifiable Homicide? Zoey or Julia? Or someone else on their behalf?
@ SKy:
perhaps both will have a say in this matter…and his unfortunate demise…
Step one in how to get expelled and arrested for sexual harassment!
@ Arent:
Wait, someone actually did this Gilligan shit to Novil? Oh lord.
Dave wrote:
Not sure if Novil was serious, but it is mentioned in the author-commentary some pages back.
I would say she deserves it, considering the butt head she’s been to just about everyone, but this is just harsh on a whole new level, even for her. My money’s on it being either Larissa or Julia who finally shy this wacko up.
Someone needs a restraining order way more then Larisa.
Surprise conclusion to this arc: Humans can be considered apex predators by some definitions. Gilligan is arguably human. Ruth has a gun. You figure out the rest.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
…thrown out of her closet…
Well that got a little dark, let’s hope Larissa or Julia sorts this guy out. It both.
i figured it out, its a nightmare sequence
Well, if it’s possible to die from embarrassment, this would be the time. Poor Zoey.
Chris wrote:
I was going to say, forget Larissa, this is a job for Ruth.
I enjoy a good fan-ship story as much as the next guy, and I am not entirely innocent of shipping characters together myself. That being said, If I was plopped into the world, I might occasionally tease people about looking cute with that other person, but Gilligan is taking this way, way, way too far (hopefully for Zoe this is all a nightmare) otherwise Gilligan could get into serious trouble for this behavior.
Mechwarrior wrote:
Don’t forget the “Puff of Ye Thuza”. That is a powerful solution as well.
http://www.sandraandwoo.com/2014/07/31/0603-puff/
Yu wrote:
It would be hilarious if that persona actually was called Gilligan but I presume Novil will keep quite on that…
Note to self: Never write shipping e-mails to Novil. 🙂
I guess the first draft wasn’t horrible enough. This one works, though. Poor Zoey. Whoever’s getting detention out of this, it shouldn’t be her.
This all seems pretty surreal. I’m betting this sequence is all a dream.
@ João Ferreira:
Yeah but it’s a very surreal comic. There are talking raccoons and a 13 yer old who worships the devil.
Novil wrote:
It’s safe to say that Zoey isn’t completely happy with this version!
I think that’s Julia approaching him in the last panel because:
Cloud’s mother would have silenced him before he could react,
Ruth would have shot him, and
Woo is too cautious to let others know of his ability.
However, it could be Larissa, Sandra, Cloud or Taylor.
Time for Zoey to grab a shovel and start digging a nerd hole.
Canon motivations: Thus Sandra’s revenge is complete. Remember, Larissa knew.