[1094] Tribal Wars
└ posted on Monday, 1 July 2019, by Novil
I failed to translate the great insults by the two soccer fans of the German version into English. They would be incomprehensible for anyone without knowledge of the Dortmund – Schalke rivalry and are also based on wordplays. I used more generic phrases instead, but they’re just not as funny… If you have some good ideas, I’m all ears.
- Richard: This will all end in tears, I’m telling you!
- Sandra: Why do you think so?
- Clerk: Früherer Beruf? | Former occupation?
- Clerk: Früherer Beruf?
- German man: Vorstandsvorsitzender eines Telekommunikationsdienstleistungsunternehmens. | CEO of a telecommunication service company.
- Richard: First of all, there’s the language barrier!
- German woman: When last I was in Cologne I did see, upon thy menu chicken wings most grand. I doth beseech thee, send for some posthaste.
- Cashier: Wha’s’up?
- Sandra: They will adapt.
- Richard: They’re also utterly ignorant of our progressive culture.
- Sign: LGBTQQIAAP office
- Günther: Do you know what the second Q stands for, Hans?
- Hans: No idea, Günther.
- Sandra: Do you know what the second Q stands for?
- Richard: And last but not least, they will bring their tribal wars into our peaceful town!
- Dortmund ultra: Schlocke 0:4!
- Schalke ultra: Yup! Away game in Dorkmund!
- Schalke ultra: Never walk alone? Never walk again!
- Dortmund ultra: Go down if you’re a Schalke fan!
- Bayern ultra: KAAAAAAAAHN!
- Sandra: I have to admit, those can be really terrifying…
![[1094] Tribal Wars](/comics/2019-07-01-1094-tribal-wars.png "[1094] Tribal Wars")
Crestlinger wrote:
They better level up, first. Seriously.
@ Paeris Kiran:
What? The GEEK have an own alphabet already?@ Paeris Kiran:
What? The GEEK have an own alphabet already?
@ InsaneTacoz:
Wrong Spelling. Its KAAAAAAAAAAAHN! Meant is Oliver Kahn, a goal keeper. The name Kahn stands for a boat or small ship…
Actually, one “T” is missing. 🙂
LGBTTQQIAAP
@ guest:
Partly correct. Mussolini from Italy was idolized by Mr Hitler and the one he looked up to until he overtook him.
The NAZIS had a small group that tried to fish in the working class. After they took over germany, this group was disbanded and their head Strasser executed.
Sure the nazis were fascists with their leader cult.
And yes, their biggest item was that nationalist and race tick. All others were regarded as 2nd class at best. And they acted along and quite consequent. Thats why we know them as criminals with a criminal system.
All euroeans have at least 4 known strains of genetic origin. 1. early hunter gatherers with brown skin and blue eyes, all 100 examined remains show that. 2. anatolian farmers that started to move into europe from 9000 years ago and reached britain about 5000 years ago. 3. pastorials from the pontic steppe north of black and caspian sea. 4. a north euroasian population we dont know much about. Only one original skeleton was found near lake baikal, 20000 years old. Traces of them are found in each european and also in american indians. So the balts have the highest hunter gatherer part with max 25%, The sardinians the highest anatolian farmer part with max 90%. The scandinavians the highest steppe part with max 80%. There is no pure.
@ Threadnaught:
1. The nazis had a small group that was fishing in the working class. That group was disbanded in 1934 and their head Mr Strasser was executed. They were at first nationalist, revanchistic for the Versailler contract and racist then there was long time nothing. They were definitely not socialistic. They were fighting them in street and hall battles. The first thing after taking over was to put communist and socialist in the KZ.
How comes then, that all non subsahara africans have 1 to 4% neanderthal. Why all europeans have 4 strains of origin in their DNA? 1. early hunter gatherer 2. anatolian farmers 3. pastorials from the pontic steppe 4. a north eurasian population with traces only – american indians have traces of the same population. only one original skeleton was found of this population. over 20000 year old found at lake baikal. There must be other mechanisms than displacing by genocide.
@guest and blackholefourspam:
No, the world will not ‘blend into one race’. A combination of sexual selection and natural selection will ensure that every desirable trait, including every common hair colour variation, nose shape, and skin tone, will continue to exist. They’ll just be redistributed. There’s two reasons for this. One, people live in one place most of their lives, so having an average complexion is not a survival trait unless you live near the tropics. Two, we value uniqueness, so people who have rare traits like red hair and blue eyes will, all else being equal, individually have more children on average than those who do not. We don’t need to take any action; this will naturally occur on its own. There’s no need to fear a loss of genetic or even phenotype diversity when there’s six billion people and hundreds of countries spread from the Sahara to the Arctic to the Pacific Ocean.
How will Europeans adapt to living in America? This problem is unprecedented!
Except it isn’t. Wave after wave of European immigrants have already adapted and contributed to American culture. Or is that the joke?
@ Namaphry:
“No, the world will not ‘blend into one race’. A combination of sexual selection and natural selection will ensure that every desirable trait, including every common hair colour variation, nose shape, and skin tone, will continue to exist. They’ll just be redistributed.”
Except that recessive genes are not expressed, only if both halfs are recessive. For example these are blue eyes or blonde hair. This makes them very rare in fully mixed groups. But that’s just genetics and not really important for the well being of people.
On the other hand, if you have a group that essentially halves each generation (like most long time europeans, regardless of actual race) and have a group that more than slightly increases each generation, while at the same time both groups refuse to mix with each other, then it’s easy to calculate when one group fully disappears regardless of the actions of the other. This is solely the fault of the group that fell below the 2.2 children per couple reproduction line.
The key is that these groups don’t tend to mix. In the past there were some mixing and some serious isolation, like how the Basques are the last mostly intact group of mixed neanderthal and modern men. They had to mix and then insolate themselves for a long enough time to not blend in fully like they are doing right now in the last two centuries. On the other hand, many east europeans are the mix of most groups that lived in the greater region for the last 5000 years. None of these groups remain and save a few odd ones, none of their culture either. I’m not saying this is a good or a bad thing, this just happens and has happened for many thousands of years in the past.
What we are seeing is the residential mixing of all groups as every part of the planet is now accessible within a short time. Even for those who are poor. This is how poor people from Afganistan could come to live next to equally poor people from equatorial Africa. We will see if they will mix genetically, live parallel to each other peacefully or start to fight. This could be regarded as a great experiment. Actually far greater than soviet communism.
“There’s no need to fear a loss of genetic or even phenotype diversity when there’s six billion people and hundreds of countries spread from the Sahara to the Arctic to the Pacific Ocean.”
The idea behind governmental globalization is to eliminate wars by eliminating countries who could wage wars against each other by geographically mixing people. Then only ethnic and religious groups remain which tend to have similar warring tendencies. Getting rid of all three would result in a single ‘nation’, without opposing groups, except maybe the rich and the poor, but that’s a bit different. There are lots of very fine and optimistic songs about a future like this and many people work to achive it. Everyone else protests for some instinctive reason that scientists failed to understand so far.
Oh the young generations who have never seen the true test of ritual battlefield.
Once Germans were celebrating the end of winter and mourned the end of summer with the fiercest rite of cleansening that retail could unleash on us: The “summer’s end” and “winter’s end” supersales!
Not even a die-hard male soccer fan would willingly get between a swarm of middle aged housewives and a table with 80%-off clothes.
No clue why we don’t do these any more…
someguy wrote:
I don’t think anybody resonable uses the full acronym, haha. Most people just stick with some variation of LGBT at the simplest, or LGBTQ+ at the most complex. Otherwise it’s just not practical. I’ve seen people try to get other acronyms to catch on, but I think the most commonly accepted alternate is the reclaimed slur “queer”— though of course some people don’t use that, owing to their own personal experiences being insulted with that term.
BorgLord wrote:
I feel you. I get really angry when “Ally” gets included in the acronym just on principle. but as a fellow ace I do also get the feeling people still don’t think of us as real…
Walter wrote:
As I understand it, she got shot got shot by the person she was *attacking*. So it’s somewhat directly her fault. I’m not saying it’s *right*, but should you just *let* yourself be pummeled? i feel like whatever you do to defend yourself if the attacker is a pregnant woman, something bad is going to happen to the baby.
In one article I read, someone else interviewed said something along the lines of “next they’ll be after us for having a drink while pregnant” and I was like ???. If you’re with child, you are responsible for everything *you* choose to do that could affect it, whether or not you’d face charges for it.
LGBTQIAΔΛΦΣ+ & Knuckles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q0JP3tcoHQ
In the German comic, the football clubs are plausible/slightly changed versions of real names, whereas the English version gives a famous German football rivalry without change. Presumably so that English speakers can google for it in case it’s unclear, whereas Germans will likely get the reference anyway?
@ TheWhalersNotTheCoffeeChain:
“Quiltbag’ has gained a following in the British community. No a lot of people know what the letters stand for just what the cause is and that it’s a hell of a lot easier to pronounce, and that latter is a very British thing.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Borussia_Dortmund_logo.svg
How do you call “hooligans” in Germany?
I find it frustrating that here in Brazil we are that much fans of soccer and violent, yet we lack a word in Portuguese for “hooligans”.
don’t forget about the “2S” (two spirited) people in the alphabet list.
@ Whirlwound:
Gotta love progressivism. First it was LGBT, then LGBTQ and now it’s 2SLGBTQQ+. 2-spirited, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Queer and Questioning plus other orientations I won’t get into right now.
Stay tuned for the next iteration.
Regis Earsquake wrote:
Nah, there is barely half as many sexual orientation than humans. But that’s still too big number.
(There may be sexual orientations with as many as few hundreds people!)
guest wrote:
The problem with that idea is that those united people wouldn’t have our culture, our religion and wouldn’t be of our ethnic or nation. People who don’t like their culture, religion, ethnicity and nation to disappear have good motivation to protest.
Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Allies Pansexual. Allies means straight non-transgender people who support people who do identify as one of above categories.b It is, however, missing one, if not more. I no someone who identifys as non-binary, that is, I believe, not identifying with any gender. They perfer the pronouns they and them. So, there should be an N-B in the acronym.