[1244] Trash Talk
└ posted on Friday, 5 February 2021, by Novil
Some other insults I came up with before my favorite version seen in the comic:
- You’re so fat, you’re the most spherical object on the court!
- You’re so fat, the balls are jealous of your roundness!
- You’re so fat, scientists can’t explain why you haven’t collapsed into a black hole yet!
- You’re so fat, mathematicians had to invent a new notation to represent the number of your rolls of fat!
- Spectator #1: I’ve never seen anyone dance across the court with such grace and agility!
- Spectator #2: Steffi Graf maybe…
- Spectator #1: Nonetheless, Zoey hasn’t found an answer to Pat’s brute force yet.
- Spectator #2: True.
- Pat Smash: Beanpole!
- Zoey: You’re so fat, the balls would start to orbit you if you didn’t hit them back!
- Spectator #1: Zoey’s trash talk is way ahead of Pat’s, though.
- Spectator #2: True.
![[1244] Trash Talk](/comics/2021-02-05-1244-trash-talk.png "[1244] Trash Talk")
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“You are so fat, the recursive function calculating your mass has caused a stack overflow”
Of course, if Zoey’s the better at trash talk, she may wind up Pat to the extent she starts making mistakes. A sneaky strategy, but not necessarily against the rules…
“Ah! Twoo Wuv…”
Can we have a poll on the favorite insults, please? 😉
I like the other-insult No. 1 for it’s straightness,
and No. 3 for the cosmological metaphor.
You’ve got her sweating, Zoey. Keep moving her around the court and she’ll melt into a puddle.
I would say “GET A ROOM YOU TWO!” but at this point I’m almost kinda starting to feel like that may be tantamount to spoiling, so instead I’ll just bandwagon on the insult competition idea:
“I’m fat. You’re ugly. I lose weight when I exercise. What are you gonna do about that face? And don’t even TRY to go with ‘plastic surgery’; judging by the stench of burning plastics, you’ve tried that already: It. Didn’t. Work. You’re so fake you make Barbie look real.”
Here’s one I suppose Powree can try in the future:
“You’re so ugly, you look like something I drew with my left hand.”
(This is assuming, of course, that Powree is right-handed.)
I think the main insult would work better if it were “You’re so fat, the balls would orbit you if you didn’t hit them back!” the added “start to” just makes it difficult to say.
Is that Viviana sitting first on the left?
Now kiss…
You’re so fat, you’re going to get diabetes!
You are so FAT you can only support files smaller then 4GB.
You’re so fat you got your own weather system
You’re so fat, I’d talk about you behind your back, but my car only has half a tank of gas.
This is going to end with them angry snogging each other, isn’t it?
Steve wrote:
Oh, that’s a good one, that is.
Nealend86 wrote:
I don’t see it. I doubt that there’s a hotel room in town big enough for both egos.
The insult that made the cut deserved to do so, Speaking as a fat man myself, that one was hilarious. XD
Calling it right now, we’re looking at a future doubles team, who will go on to win championships.
How appropriate, YOU fight like a cow!
David W wrote:
Agreed.
like joining McEnroe with…
…well, just about anyone.
Pat seems to be more tired than zoey it seems – continue to make her run zoey ! 🙂
Plot twist
Zoey tries to go for her and finds out Pat is straight
noname wrote:
You’re so Ugly, I have to draw you with my Off-Hand!
(Right or Left, it doesn’t matter)
@ mittfh:
It’s against the rules.”Verbal or physical abuse of a player or official” is something that can be penalized.
“Can be” not “will be”. Lydia is probably perfectly okay with Zoey bagging on Pat.
AnotherBear wrote:
Lydia probably even enjoys it!
I guess it’s vilification tennis
This will end only in hate-smooches
@ AnotherBear:
I’m surprised the court is big enough. I suspect they had to shut down the next court over to handle the overflow.
Now kiss.
Vukodlak wrote:
A Cold War Olympic sport.
Just kiss already.