[1258] Bikini Armor
└ posted on Monday, 5 April 2021, by Novil
Update (1 hour after posting this strip): I’m sorry, but I had to restart the poll. My change to include the two new options completely messed up the vote count and I was unable to restore the correct values.
- Caption: The alleged problem
- Caption: Proposed solution A
- Caption: Proposed solution B
- Sandra: We would like to know your opinion on the matter. Use the voting widget in the right sidebar to cast your vote.
- Larisa: Solution B! Solution B!
Azerinth wrote:
Neither Shad nor Skallagrim are impressing me.
Both are simplyfiing points, when arguing about realisticness.
2 further small points, part one:
shields (as an important point, when discussing about half-naked fighting) are mainly protecting against arrows &co. Shields are not that strong against large-weapons, like two-handed-sword or polearms. Both for duel and open-territory-armys. Pikemen beat Shieldmen.
Well armys may not be the main way of barbarians, but duels are …
where I see the strength of shields (apart from arrow-protection) are non-open-territorys: citys, woods, dungeons … the adventurers territory.
Therefore I guess, barbarians-“armor” is plausible only partly by culture, additionally it fits only to specific “jobs”.
second small point:
having your heart and lungs showing, you may need a visit at the healer afterwards.
If you have a world with pure hitpoints, you may just need a little time,
but if you have a world with more realistic injuries, you may need a month or a year after one battle – and still have a crippled charakter.
Barbarian style with multiple adventures and battles only works with proper healing.
big point:
the appearance, that both Youtuber referred to with fantasy charakters or real-live-bodybuilders, thats not what any historical fighter could have impressed the enemys with.
These are already the male power-fantasy.
These muscles are the result of industrial revolution/medical knowlegde … none of these existing bodys are shaped by pure training.
These bodys are complete unrealistic, without steroids.
The top-athletes of the pre-steroid-era had a body, that was not thaaaaat optical-differing from what the WW2-propaganda-films are showing as standard-citizen-fitness.
(And I guess, the greek-olympics are pictured as idols, with mostly a little bit honoring “photoshop”.)
I guess, average professional soccer-player and tour-de-france-athletes are a actual example of legs without steroids reaching muscles than only a few could shape a century ago.
-> impressing body I guess is not, whats happend back there.
Impressing courage/stamina is a completely different point … 😉
@ dogsoldier:
You forget that if you have armor like this, you’re probably on a horse a lot
I think of myself as a practical man at heart. Form follows function, and the function of armor is to prolong the wearer’s life by turning aside blows.
Skimpy outfits are well and good but if you’re going to take to the battlefield then it’s not the time and place for goofy novelties like armored bikinis and overwrought swords; if they leave their guts undefend then they should expect a painful demise, and if they rely on some kind of magical protection then I see little use in the “armor” in the first place.
dogsoldier wrote:
Your “downed turtle syndrome” is grossly exaggerated: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzTwBQniLSc&ab_channel=conncork
It can happen with specialised jousting armour, since for jousts you want to be as protected as possible without needing much in the way of range of motion and your opponent isn’t ACTUALLY trying to kill you, but armour that’s intended to be used in battle is going to be light and flexible (where it needs to be) enough to fight effectively with only minor compromises to mobility.
Gladiator armour, on the other hand, is explicitly designed for spectacle over substance. If you’re talking about Roman gladiators, the crowd WANTS to see blood. There’s a reason Roman legionnaires didn’t wear the same armour that the gladiators did (unless the gladiator was actually playing the role of a legionnaire).
The “realistic” option would just remove the female version.
If you wanna have a female character option, scrap the talk about being realistic, and give it a good-looking outfit.
Can still discuss whether you’d prefer a “badass” or “sexy” outfit for the male.
So where’s Option C, where the male is in revealing ‘armour’ and the female is in full plate?
Incidentally, both Skallagrim and Shadiversity have fairly recent videos on this very subject.
I see a couple people mentioning Conan the Barbarian, and I’d just like to remind that in the books, Conan preferred to wear the best armor available. He did get into situations where he was stripped down pretty regularly, but he would always put on armor as soon as he could find/buy/steal it, even if it was just multiple layers of clothes.
Two additional Conan points, off the topic of armor:
1. Conan never had a special sword or anything. Like armor, he’d use any weapon he could get his hands on.
2. If you were to build Conan in Dungeons & Dragons, he wouldn’t be a Barbarian at all. He’d be a multiclass Fighter/Rogue with the Sailor background.
I want more skins for my avatar, so both.
@ Draxynnic:
@Draxynnic
There are also the lightly amored Native Americans, Aztecs, unarmored Samurai,
ad infinitum…
I concede your point and suggest instead
strategic bikini armor over mail and/or padded silk.
light and easy to move, while still protecting startegic areas and joints.
which then sort of defeats “bikini” doesn’t it… LOL
I suppose there is always the previously mentioned “wode paint” per Celtic warroirs
or “naked / bearskin” per Nordic Bersekers… but it is unfortunate for long term health…
Honestly, having both solutions would ensure that everyone is happy. So, both A and B.
Finally realized why I don’t like the guy on side B. He is wearing too much 🙁 Not a ton of beef cake.
If we’re talking enchantment giving toothfloss gear a +150 def I say B
If the defence is relient on the material used my answer would be A
While I prefer option A, am I the only one that noticed that the woman was leaning on her sword, with the tip sticking in the dirt? Bad girl! Are you trying to dull the tip, or just break it off?
If isn’t a problem. Keep it as is in the first panel.