- Zoey: Yes? … Hello, Michelle. Hmm…, please wait a moment.
- Zoey: Ha! Victory is mine! I have the longest one!
- Sandra: No fair! My dong is much thicker!
- Zoey: It’s the length that counts, Sandra!
- Larisa: She’s right, Sandy, and you know it!
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![[1320] The Longest One](/comics/2022-03-10-1320-the-longest-one.png "[1320] The Longest One")
[1320] The Longest One
└ posted on Thursday, 10 March 2022, by Novil
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I do love Sandra’s face in third panel. Powree is a genius.
I will be eagerly awaiting all the butthurt comments again. The last couple of comics have been so entertaining.
This is not a airport people, not need to announce your departure.
Poor Michelle, she was NOT prepared for that…
As my wife assures me, this is just how young girls in their early teens think and acts but they take great care that boys must never, ever know that. 🙂
That confused face of Michelle is worth gold !!! XD
It’s not the size of the raft but how many people it can can support.
Also, seriously where can I get this Top Trumps deck?
First, Michelle was shocked because Zoey kissed her, now she is shocked because she is playing silly games.
By the way, to my knowledge roughly 70% of people are heterosexual, 20%-30% bisexual and <1% homosexual.
So, if someone tells me that they are homosexual, in 90% of the cases I assume that they are actually bisexual.
Poeple with short ones saying “Noooo, it’s the girth or what you do with it that counts!” in 3…2…1….
@ MuchachoNL:
People*
This reminds me of those tank cards we played as kids and arguing whether high weight or low weight wins.
Also Michelle learning that Zoey and Sandra have penises 🙂
Quote from a movie “It’s not the size that counts, it’s how you use it” ~Sheriff of Nottingham, Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
eldestdawn wrote:
Sherrif of Rottingham you mean.
Okay, together with the last panel, these have amazing punch lines! Don’t let the haters get to you
Poor Michelle… She’s at the same time puzzled, surprised and upset that no one invited her to the party!
MuchachoNL wrote:
As stated in the Arrogant Worms song “Canada’s Really Big”, “It’s not what you do with it; it’s the size that counts.” 😉
since the comments have devolved to it. my personal favorites of this flavor.
“I can’t give you 12 inches, but I can give you 6 inches twice”
“from what I’ve seen I’m pretty much average”, “oh compare often?”, in deadpan “I watch adult videos”, wait for the person to realize that your calling your self average against that.
@ fetteraga:
It’s not the size of the waves, it’s the motion of the ocean.
Arthur wrote:
Top Trumps seems to be the name of the publisher, the actual game is called C*ck Trumps and is available in the UK. (If you’re outside the UK, you’re probably out of luck.) Search for “C*ck Trumps game” without the quotes and replace the * with the o. There’s also a website for the game that shows the full card list with all the images in their penile glory.
How in Heaven’s name do you even play that game?
@ OJA:
Each penis has a series of stats: length, width, girth, endurance, etc. Some come with special abilities that can enhance their own stats or sabotage the opponents, depending on circumstances.
…the comment above yours wasn’t kidding, and apparently my joke-guess was accurate.
Gotta admit, the previous strip was kinda “meh” on its own (barring the pretty cool line of “This is so pathetic I don’t even feel sexually harassed by your sexual harassment.”), but the followup is actually pretty funny, and the drawings certainly help with the delivery (poor Michelle :P).
Now, the three comments above mine, together they’re positively hilarious!
Next panel.
Zoey asks Michelle innocently : ‘ Say, do you like movies about gladiators?”
@ MuchachoNL:Funny – my WIFE even says that width is more important than length. More stimulating, or something like that. Hey as long as it makes her happy…
Steeltalons wrote:
Pun intended ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
But yeah, let’s be honnest, too much length can be quite of a painful problem for the lady when you reach the dead end. While width … well, width is life !
It’s not the size that matters,
It’s the adjusted size – T.M.I. – that counts
=X
michelle: “OMG, Zoey and Sandra are futanaries!” :-O
Well, from what I heard girth is better – but if they go by the card games I played as a kid it comes down to what stat the challenger picks. So if she picked length the other stuff doesn´t matter, and she wins that round. I really need to buy a new deck.
Hegel Marx wrote:
On that note – Ducati just released a new e-bike called the Ducati Futa…
I’m not joking, but the jokes practically write themselves…
OK, girls, in unison:
“Did we say that out loud?”
I wonder if you’re aware of some of the “ads” published on the same page along with Sandra and Woo. Probably not, and I know that content providers aren’t told sometimes what kinds of ads their pages contain. Today’s video (which isn’t short) is a falsehood-riddled promotion for some quack “medicine” based on cannabis. Among the many ingenuous statements is that this guy, the promoter, “discovered” a mixture based on cannabis that would “cure” an array of ailments. This might be convincing to someone who hadn’t visited a drug store recently, where dozens of cannabis-containing salves, pills, and ointments fill the shelves. Added to this farago of falsehoods, half-baked, biblical “scholarship,” and shaky medical history is the usual evangelical advertisement for their form of Christianity.
Arent wrote:
Not sure where you live, but bisexuality is rarer than that. About 3% of the population is homosexual or bisexual, with the bisexual population being slightly larger.
@ Arent:
I thought 5% of people are LGBT?@ Arent:
@ Steeltalons:
Well, yeah, if you don’t feel the first 6 inches and suddenly feel the tip banging against the uterus entrance, I can imagine you’ll feel more stuffed with a shorter and wider dick
Tue wrote:
You… played card games like that… as a kid?..
“I…I mean…I haven’t seen her THERE yet?”
@ Nikary Flare:
Three different types myself. One with planes, one with motorcycles and one with Warhammer Fantasy Battle Chaos Warriors.
These kinds were kinda common back in the day.
Red5 wrote:
There was a paper about that but I can’t find it anymore. I’m sure there are vastly different numbers and to be absolutely correct you would have to analyze google search behavior.
The point was that the latent bisexual population was much larger than strict homosexuality which makes complete sense from a biological point of view. Nature doesn’t care much about bisexuality, but purely homosexual people kick themselves out of evolution.
Arent wrote:
Not correct, because the chance to live is higher for the children of the brothers and sisters of the homosexual person.
@ JE:
You are not correct. Pure homosexual individuals will never pass their genes to a next generation. Sure they can adopt children but their biological lineage ends with then.
Nightmaster wrote:
Here’s an anecdatum to which I can testify, knowing all three parties quite well.
A very good friend of long-standing, joyfully bisexual, had two purely homosexual men who’d been pair-bonded for some time donate sperm to her, which donation yielded a child who’s now about twelve years old. A bit later they donated to yet another woman of my acquaintance, and she also gave birth to a child. At least one of these two men did indeed pass on his genes,
@ Red5:
For what’s it’s worth, from Wikipedia….
“Surveys in Western cultures find, on average, that about 93% of men and 87% of women identify as completely heterosexual, 4% of men and 10% of women as mostly heterosexual, 0.5% of men and 1% of women as evenly bisexual, 0.5% of men and 0.5% of women as mostly homosexual, and 2% of men and 0.5% of women as completely homosexual.”
….of course when referring to Wikipedia for anything controversial it’s always good to remember that you may be reading whatever the last editor with no job but lots of free time put up there.
The numbers are uncertain because (1) most surveys are self-selected participants (2) or selected by the survey takers – Masters & Johnson – once considered THE experts – apparently took their numbers from surveying convicted sex criminals or (3) ignores cultural biases. Prison populations or unisex schools with limited access are NOT “general population”. And historically Greek culture actually encouraged M/m relationships – as do many modern African and Arabic cultures (despite Islamic Law on this).
Best figures (I think) if you limit genders to 2 instead of some insane endless subsubsubdivisions is 5-10% prefer non-opposite gender – given free choice and availability.
@ Red5:
I suspect 3% is low – I doubt it’s below 5%.
On one side you gots folks downplaying the percentages and others inflating the numbers. Unless you live in a SanFrancisco ghetto 30% is absurd and only can be arrived at by assuming anyone who ever did anything not pure-bred “straight” is instantly “latent”.
@ JE:
That’s assuming you live in a (primitive) high-child-death culture. Admittedly that was the norm for most of history but it’s not the norm for most folks advanced enuf to be reading webcomics and commenting here.
What those folks might worry about is they’ve self-selected genetic extinction just as much or more than non “breeder” genders have. If you have less than two point something kids you’re genes are slowly dying out over time. Heck my parents had 8 kids but only 7 grandkids…..
Velgar wrote:
Ah, these kinds…
Sheesh, it’s not length that counts, or width. What matters is length times girth over yaw divided by mass over width. It’s settled science, people!
@ Arent:
I read a research paper awhile ago that claimed that all the other papers were wrong because of one major reason: The other papers just asked people and left it at that. There’s a huge problem with this method: People can lie if they think the answer makes them look bad.
The one I read instead hooked people up to read nerve impulses to measure arousal. The numbers, if memory serves, were:
71% Bisexual/Pansexual
12% Heterosexual
10% Homosexual
5% Asexual
2% Other
There’s a couple ladies out there with bruised cervixes who would disagree firmly with Zoey. Deep fishing is all well and good until you hit the bottom of the lake.
Harmony wrote:
That also sounds fake tbh. Also, I’d like some elaboration on “other”…