[0591] Michelle, The Good Christian?
└ posted on Thursday, 19 June 2014, by Novil
- Michelle: Mrs. Hill? This is Michelle, from Landon’s class. … No, it’s not about homework.
- Zoey: Michelle, please…
- Michelle: Mrs. Hill, as a good Christian I must ask you a question: Do you want your son to become gay?
- Michelle: Mrs. Hill, we were all a hundred percent sure that Landon was as gay as a handbag full of rainbows. But Larisa somehow cured him of that.
- Michelle: But now that Landon is single again because of you, hunky Jeff Robertson from grade 9 will be all over him again!
- Michelle: Wouldn’t you find that beyond disgusting?? And you won’t be able to supervise Landon all the time!
- Harriet: Dear God!
- Michelle: That’s something you should think about, Mrs. Hill.
- Michelle: Fire with fire.
- Zoey: I don’t know if God is proud of you, but I am.
![[0591] Michelle, The Good Christian?](/comics/2014-06-19-0591-michelle-the-good-christian.png "[0591] Michelle, The Good Christian?")
If you all got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
If all you got is some fanatical missunderstanding of the bible*, those are some shiny red buttons to press.
*I let X-pletive fill you in on the details:
http://www.theduckwebcomics.com/Essay_Bee_Comics_Presents_Fusion/5379817/
http://www.theduckwebcomics.com/Essay_Bee_Comics_Presents_Fusion/5380985/
http://www.theduckwebcomics.com/Essay_Bee_Comics_Presents_Fusion/5382178/
@ McDouggal:
Teenage rivalry is one thing, overbearing parents interfering in their children’t love life is another. A common enemy if you will. A uniting factor.
Ooor, she is going to hold this over Larisa for at least the next year.
Steven wrote:
I grew up in a military family and spent my childhood travelling the world AND the US. I tell you now, the military life is more structured than civilian life and far more organized.
“MIXED UP” is not the way I would describe military life. “Dedicated” is a better description. “Different” is the very least I would say.
The “fundamentalists” you so obviously despise in your statement happen to be the ones who must look at situations and make decisions that change lives (like judges, law enforcement, doctors, etc.). They all recognize that the intense, structured environment of the military is crucial to ‘fixxing’ many personal problems.
Military life is far closer to the ‘true utopia’ you who hate the military can admit. It’s not perfect, but it’s far better than the society others folks want.
@ Egomane:
I’m guessing she did it for some internal reason. Its like Romeo and Juliet, but she can prevent the heartache they’d experience by pulling some strings with the mother. I’ve helped complete strangers for no reason; other than some internal voice telling me to do something for them. I think its called a conscience XD
Some say the hearts in Zoey’s eyes grew three sizes that day
Fan-fucking-Tastic!
Standing ovation for Michelle for here!
Valkeiper2012 wrote:
Alright boyo, before you get too high on that soap box, I’ll explain a little.
By “Mixed Up” I meant that in the military you will be with people from all walks of life, poor, rich, all races, creeds, and religions. Where in civilian life many of these people are separated into communities.
My despise for fundamentalists only comes from the lies they tell themselves, such as a person will lose their religion in College but find god in the military. When I was in basic I read the Bible, the Quran, The Art of War and some Mormon books, I also attended many different religious orders. I learned more about religion in those three months then I ever did in the churches my mom sent me to. I have also attended College neither of these places effected my religious thoughts
My point was that so many people seem to see the military as Christian, when it is an organization of many religions, not solely “fundamentalists.” As your statement on fundamentalists seems to believe.
Steven wrote:
and military school with just men around should help how? 😀
I called it! 😀
(Congratulations to everyone else who also called it, and commiserations to those who called it the other way)
I can see a multitude of ways in which this could also go wrong, but this being just a comic book story, it’s likely that it’ll actually work, at least for a while.
Holy moley… wasn’t expecting that!
Coy, very coy. And, somehow, I saw it coming. Hope this doesn’t come with strings attached though.
Okay, I’m glad I withheld judgement until today on Michelle. Though she did intend to do good, this might blow up in Landon’s face. Mother’s like that want to “fix” their child and I have the feeling that she will try to “fix” him by setting him up with a “wholesome” girl or send him away to be “fixed”.
And yes I love to use “air quotes”.
Michelle, you magnificent b*****d, I read your book…
Meanwhile, that “hunky Jeff Robertson from grade 9” is still in play, ain’t he? ‘
Hrm. I have trouble conceiving of a boy in the 9th grade – by definition “chicken” – as “hunky.”
@ Steven:
if he becomes gay anywhere it would be the military school (ONLY men, well trained men, yiou regularly see under the shower and excercise with…)
Fire with fire indeed. *applause*
maravilla wrote:
Popular misconception, out-of-touch with the times. A great many military schools – including those boarding schools at the secondary level – have gone co-educational in these United States, if not for the sake of political correctness (in conformity with thuggish “Liberal” fascist imperatives) then out of economic necessity, to increase the “catch” of clientele.
It’s not unreasonable. Many parents who can afford such options are even more desperate (for obvious reasons) to get their girl children out of the government school systems and into an educational environment not only higher in quality but also much more rigorously policed in terms of language and behavior.
I am confused, wasn’t Michelle and Zoey ‘enemies’ of Larisa? I feel like I missed something…
Lovely work, MIchelle!
@ Valkeiper2012
Ah yes, the military, that will use people up and then discard them. PTSD? “Suck it up, buttercup!” Plus, being yelled at all day, told you’re worthless scum, then complete confusion when you believe them. Get sent to illegal wars, watch your best friend lose his intestines to an IED, then come home to foreclosed homes and living on the street. But hey, tough decisions have to be made.
It could just be that she admires Larissa (if only a little) for dating Landon, someone who is not seen as extremely attractive to the other girls when Larissa is able to date her pick of the litter. As such she may feel inclined to aid them. In addition she may be doing it for Landon rather than Larissa, she does after all have his mom’s phone number, meaning she must at least know him a little. I mean, I didn’t have all my classmate’s mother’s phone numbers when I was their age, only those of friends. Finally it could just be that she isn’t a horrible person or she took Zoey’s pleas under advisement.
Regardless of the reason, and regardless of this being a work of fiction, it still makes me smile to see her do a good deed, and I look forward to her character becoming more fleshed out as we learn more about her. Also I cheer for Larissa/Landon probably more than Sandra/Cloud. =)
@ Steven:
When have fundamentalists EVER thought that in modern society? It’s ridiculous that you would ever come to that conclusion.
@ Egomane:
I think she did it to revenge the ruined Art.
Hyperstar96 wrote:
Listen we can have this back and forth all day where I say “Fundamentalists spit in the face of Jesus with their ever waking moments” and you disagree and say I’m spreading false lies against an easy target.
My opinion, your opinion, neither matters more then the time it takes to right them.
Lets just agree to disagree.
@ Switch Master:
Larisa has shown some evidence that her sexuality is somewhat open by kissing Sandra (she said she liked it, but not as much as kissing boys) and saying she would hate being a lesbian due to lack of available partners to kiss with rather than because she wouldn’t enjoy it. She has a preference for guys, but I don’t think she’d outright reject the idea of being with a girl if she had the opportunity and she liked them that way.
. .
……….
@ demarion:
And don’t forget, chances are you’ll ruin your marriage if you have one as well because behaviour that works in the military doesn’t work nearly as well in society and no one has set up a program of any kind to slowly remove what they’ve learned, they’re just forced to readjust.
Why do i have a feeling she unintentionally made things worse.
@ Random lurker:
That sounds like something from a Dungeons and Dragons game.
Okay, that was unexpected but entirely hilarious! Very glad to see that Michelle does indeed have a good heart and isn’t nearly spiteful enough to try and ruin someone’s relationship and happiness. I was hoping she wouldn’t turn out awful but I can’t say I was expecting her to really try to help. As funny as what Michelle said is, it actually could help by making Harriet see Larissa as a lesser and necessary evil to keep her son from what she views as a great sin. I don’t think Michelle was expressing an anti-gay sentiment there, just playing up to Harriet’s own beliefs. Often the best way to reach someone is to get on their level and express a perspective they can understand. Even when Michelle kind of had a go at Zoey for kissing her, she wasn’t necessarily being homophobic. She may have just been shocked and trying to keep Zoey from ever kissing her again by telling her that only “gay lesbos” do that. Not the most tactful way to handle it but she may not have realised why Zoey kissed her or what it meant about Zoey’s sexuality. Most people–and especially kids–assume someone is straight unless they’re told otherwise. And although it can be used as a homophobic slur, “lesbo” is often used as slang as well. It all depends on context and character. It’s perfectly normal to freak out if someone randomly kisses you, especially if you’re not into them or don’t swing that way. Shock can make people lose all tact when speaking, even if they don’t mean something badly. I am hoping that that’s all it was. This comic definitely shows Michelle does have a good side and I’d like to see more of her and Zoey’s characters.
Ya know I’m glad Michelle is comcerned about Landon and all but one question still goes through my mind. HOW DA FAUQ DID SHE EVEN KNOW HARRIET’S NUMBER IN THE FIRST PLACE?????
DOES HER DAD WORK AT AT&T OR SOMETHING???? Or is she the cool kid that knows everybody on her block?
@ Sam:
Your right about the partner thing but the kissing Sandra thing was a reference to the song “I kissed a girl”
That was… unexpected. And a nice move! Well done! Well done indeed!
Poor Zoe though, unrequited love. Never fun, but it happens all the time.
Here’s something else to gnaw on. Michelle DID realize that Zoey might be crushing on her. This hasn’t caused her to turn against Zoey. While she might be voicing some things that we disagree with, I don’t see this as Michelle being anti-gay so much as anti-parent meddling.
Think about it. Michelle’s at that age when she’s looking at guys, finding them damn nifty, and might want to start kissing them much like Larisa does. Does she want her parents chasing guys away from her? 😉
And if you want a more cynical note, if Larisa is busy being all over Landon, then she’s not harassing Michelle or Zoey. So they get left alone more often by Larisa if she’s happy with Landon.
Rob H.
Either Michelle has serious Jedi Mind Skills or Harriet’s mental capabilities are compromised by her prejudices. I vote for the latter. Religion taken to far will do that.
Stephen wrote:
You are talking 3.5 or earlier and not the Diablo II clone referred as DnD 4 or “Next” tm right?
A lot of the old Dnd story-lines and intrigues involved either Machiavellian, Shakespearean, Dickensian or Faustian situations. So there was always something familiar for the more well read players.
@ McDouggal:
Well, I guess even lil’ bitches have their standards.
This is why I love this comic, it has the build up that makes you cringe, then a few days later you’re applauding with an ear to ear grin that just won’t stop, good on ya, and Monday can’t come soon enough.
@ Paeris Kiran:
There are women. Occassionally. Sometimes. Okay, not really, the military hates women.
Huh… Oh! The military is openly homophobic! That might be part of it.
Or maybe she just thinks sending him to a place that will beat all individuality and human dignity out of him will make any problem better? Kinda like curing a headache by cutting off the head… Wait, not even a headache. More like curing an unwanted hair colour by cutting off the head. But still.
@ Avian Mosquito:
You should join the Military, because most of what you said was nonsense.
Homophobic- Even though may of the top brass had been fighting hard to get rid of Don’t ask don’t tell and allow the LGBT to be open and serve.
Hates Women- I get were your coming from with this, all the harassment and rape allegations, all I can say is the Military has openly stated this happens and are trying to rectify the problem.
Beat all individuality and human dignity out of a soldier- Besides the fact that its impossible to do that, you’ll find that after basic the military is a pretty free place. What you see as making people into drones with all the pomp and ceremony is just a show for civilians.
Okay, there’s NO WAY I am the only one that clapped after reading this.
@ Steven:
I’ve been in the military. Everything she said is true. Yes, I was a ‘bad’ soldier, who just didn’t ‘get with the program’ and who never understood “go along to get along.” Your experience was clearly better than mine and better than that of many others. Good for you. Please don’t believe it was that way for everybody, or that those who criticize the military have no idea of what they are talking about.
@ Steven:
I am sorry for my misunderstanding of your statement.
This talking back and forth about the military just points out two things.
The military is a very varied experience and it is impossible to make a short, blanket statement that takes in all the experiences.
It doesn’t matter if you have been in the military, LIVED in the military, or have no idea what the military is about… you have an idea about the military and (right or wrong) it won’t jive with somebody else’s idea.
Carl W. Roden wrote:
5 bucks she´ll try to sic some girl from their church on him – from my experience, the same people who preach chastitiy all but shove you into bed with someone THEY aprove of to stop you from seeing the one you like.
@ demarion:
Hmmm. After thinking about what you said for a couple hours. You may be right. I’m incredibly easy going, not much actually bothers me. and I avoid confrontation like the plague. but I did know others who were the opposite and they hated every moment some even had to be on suicide watch. Admittedly I was homeless before I joined and hadn’t slept on a bed or gotton regular meals let alone had spending money for three years, so for me atleast everything bad about the military was easy to over look as long as I had food and a pay check. Sorry about your experience and if I came across as uncaring.
“I don’t know if god is proud of you, but I am.”
I can assure you he’s not. But Larisa might be. Even if she’s more a advocate for the other guy.
@ Iris:
One of the means of fighting wildfires is to light another fire to intersect with the first fire, thereby depleting the fuel and preventing it from spreading further.
As Jack from Mass Effect 2 put it, that was mean… but damned funny!
The outcome I would expect from this is that the bigoted mother would punish their child for having been gay.