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Currently on hiatus :-(
 S&W in German/auf DeutschGaia (my fantasy comic) Scarlet (my science fantasy comic) |
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![[0711] Earth Attacks](/comics/2015-08-20-0711-earth-attacks.png "[0711] Earth Attacks")
I will begin to post the results of this year’s fanart contest this weekend.
- Larisa: At their latest conference, several leading astronomers engaged in a debate as to why no aliens have yet visited us, although the universe is believed to be rife with life.
- Larisa: Unfortunately, they failed to discuss the most plausible theory.
- Sandra: Which would be?
- Larisa: They’re afraid of us!
- Sandra: With good reason.
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Sandra and Woo by Oliver Knörzer is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. See the About page for details.
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She seems to think that all space aliens are like J’onn J’onzz, the Martian Manhunter.
Sometimes the simple comics work the best.
Just two friends, hanging out, one of them with a flamethrower.
Good times. Good times.
It’s more likely that we smell weird to them…
@ Meltea:
The smell of napalm in the morning? 😉
OR they think we’re all barbarians, throwing flames at the sky.
Thanks, Larisa: Fermi’s paradox has a new meaning now.
We’re ants on an anthill to them. Has anyone here ever visited ants? Is anyone really afraid of them?
However, those abductions and “experimentations” we hear about are really just the equivalent to the “ant-bullies” with magnifying lenses. Those little “Greys” are really just sadistic psychos.
😉
It’s nice to see that Larisa got a new flamethrower.
@ GardeBlaze:
From the internet again, no doubt.
Well, I remember reading one Science Fiction, where extremely pacifistic Aliens have discovered Earth, and were so scared of our constant conflicts, that decided to destroy Earth…
I can see that.
Larisa, Yes
Larisa with a flamethrower, Yes++
Thank you
I’ve read at least a couple of sci-fi stories with this exact premise. 🙂
What would happen if larissa met black hat guy from XKCD?
This strip needs colour. The night doesn’t feel dark enough, and the glow of the fire doesn’t look bright enough.
Sandra’s composure while her hai is blown about looks awesome though 🙂
I always wonder if it’s a matter of density. Think about it, if the universe had an average of 1 or 2 planets with life on it per galaxy, that would still be a universe “rife with life”.
Life that would never, ever, meet each other.
It’s obvious that they’re afraid of us. Let’s just look at a few facts about humans:
We survive what should be deadly diseases like it’s nothing
We’ve figured out not only how to prevent the spread of deadly viruses, we’ve eradicated TWO of them!
When most animals break a bone, it’s pretty much the end of their life. When a human breaks a bone we just walk it off
We eat peppers – and I’m not talking about wimpy scotch bonnets either. I’m talking about ghost peppers, Trinidad scorpions, and Carolina reapers. These things are used for pepper spray, they not supposed to be eaten. Capsaicin is a freaking neurotoxin We eat chemical weapons. For fun.
So yeah, the aliens are definitely afraid of us. If things between us and the aliens ever got violent we’d win the war by sheer attrition.
I’d like to ask a question.
WHY WOULD FOLKS WHO TRAVEL THE UNIVERSE BE INTERESTED IN A BUNCH WHO CELEBRATE VISITING THEIR CLOSEST NATURAL SATELLITE?
@ AustSakuraKyzor:
No, they would win by sheer attrition.
Robots can be made with ultra advanced tech (which we wouldn’t have when compared to theirs) then biological warriors can be breed, raised and trained.
I read a sci-fi story once where aliens detected radio transmissions from earth, then detected the sun was about to nova.
They sent a ship to attempted to assess the situation (they had no hope to save even a fraction of a precent of the people they thought were present on earth).
The ship found NOBODY. They had a variety of adventures trying to find ANY humans, but found none.
One scientist noticed the human tech was sending images into space in a particular direction and the ship gave chase just as the sun blew.
They found literally millions of huge transports using ‘primitive tech’.
One said “wow, we better not made these beings angry”
another said “yeah, we only outnumber them 10 billion to one”
The probable real reason no aliens have ever visited Earth is because they, like us, can’t find a technologically feasible way around the light-speed barrier.
Even if they’d invented a faster-than-light communication system, which is feasible using quantum entanglement, they’d still have to get one half of it to us before they could communicate, because so far at least (so far as I know), you can’t quantum entangle particles without bringing them into close contact. The travel time would still be thousands if not millions of years, depending on distance.
And of course the same is true if we tried to do it. Not that we have the technology yet. So far, quantum entanglement requires a laboratory too large and complex to be practical for a spaceship plus consumables which wouldn’t be likely to last the journey.
Forget Star Trek’s “warp drive.” So far, it’s not even remotely possible. True, we know how it could be done in theory, but in practice, bending space in the way required is totally beyond our current technology or anything we might invent in the foreseeable future.
am i the only person who wonders what happened to Larisa and Landon’s relationship i haven’t seem them together (romantically) since the fire workshop
Not really they just do not want to loose the source of comedy movies in which we actually manage to fight them off.
This….explains….everything!!!!
@ GardeBlaze:
Yes, she looks so much happier now.
Valkeiper2012 wrote:
They wouldn’t need attrition. A single extraterrestrial with a ship capable of traveling between star systems could beat us because Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest SOB in space: if they have the capacity to travel between star systems, then they could simply strap an engine onto an asteroid and accelerate it for a while before slamming it into the Earth. Depending on the size of the asteroid and its total acceleration, it could do anywhere from “wipe out a city” to “crack open the Earth’s crust and send tsunamis of lava washing over most of the globe” level damage.
@ Thisguy:
Seriously, there is one on Kickstarter that’s portable and affordable. They’ll ship it right to your door.
this has made me put forth my first comment here.
that is my theory actually, just think about it: self destructive, aggressive, insane creatures with a knack for causing pain and suffering and finding ways to cause MORE pain and suffering even if they think they’re doing “good” and try as hard as possible to destroy their home planet instead of getting the resources floating just outside their neighboring planet which routinely fall to their planet.
another theory i have is that humans might be this universes “great old ones” which is becoming more and more likely (we can create shields of light (bullet deflective/resistant plastic) fly (depends want engines or static booster?) and cause other things to go insane (want it by light, heat, sound, sight, or just hypnotize them into insanity?))
@ Liverepus:
Destroy? Well for life similar to ours maybe. Maybe on the order of flipping the red biology reset switch, but it would take far more than we can do now to utterly destroy this planet. Rendering it uninhabitable for most lifeforms in the current biosphere? Oh yes, we can do that, but so could an asteroid.
Cruelty and exploitation are not exclusive to humans. We’ve just adapted better to it, being social generalists. Not unlike city raccoons, coywolves, and coyotes.
I am pleased that Larissa has access to flamethrower space, instead of the more mundane hammer space.
The last Panel Needs to be a wallpaper. SO cool! :3
@ Far:
You’ve been reading “Under the Dome”, haven’t you?
Maybe they already did and they sent a message to the rest of the universe saying: “Oh hell no. nope nope nope. Abort abort abort, stay away from these maniacs.”
I find it more likely that (if it is fear) they are avoiding something on our planet that may be toxic to them, like Nitrogen.
Valkeiper2012 wrote:
That was a gag in the movie Coneheads:
Connie: I think I’ll have some Tang.
Prymatt: Ah Tang, the drink astronauts took to the moon.
Beldar: Astronauts… to the moon?
[Beldar and Prymatt laugh]
Waiting for humans to stop being insane / to mature more / etc is very popular in science fiction.
There’s this famous short story by Terry Bisson about extraterrestrials discovering us and going “Nope”.
http://www.terrybisson.com/page6/page6.html
Larisa: Fucking up interstellar relations with earth since 2008 X3
@ Thisguy:
or possibly a gift from Landon, to get back into her good graces.
@ Trimutius:
Ahh, I read that series. It’s called the Giant Series by James P. Hogan, the first book being “Inherit the stars”
Wow, she re-purchased her flamethrower really fast.
@ Melkior:
Minor detail: quantum entanglement provably does _not_ allow FTL communication. See : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No-communication_theorem Furthermore, FTL communication implies causality violations and that stuff like P = PSPACE (much stronger than P = NP) would hold in our world.
With that said, you don’t need any FTL travel to travel across the stars. A Von Neumann replicator could easily slow-boat from star to star and create a galaxy-spanning industrial civilization in only a few million years.
@ Epic_Wink:
Oddly enough when I originally read it it appeared to be in color.
Now, hold on a second, both Sandra and Cloud had a close encounter.
Everyone forgets that any species that evolved enough to develop space travel would have many similar traits when compared to humans.
Any advanced Species must evolve on land, as the key tool of evolution is fire, which is a prerequisite for metallurgy, and electronics.
also they must evolve late enough, that hydrocarbons can be easily found in their environment as hydro carbons are one of the most efficient fuel sources during early technological development
second The species will be Omnivorous as they can’t be picky with food sources
eyes will have circular or cat/reptilian pupils, eye placement will be such to allow 3d vision with 2 or more eyes. eyesight could have any range from infra-red, red, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet, ultra-violet, and could have any combination of rods and cones
hands will most likely have thumbs to grasp tools. or could just be fore-claws
4 to 8 limbs, perhaps more, at least 2 legs for walking, and two arms for tool manipulation.
some species may have wings, and / or tails.
skin, Scales, Feathers, Horn, Bone or Hair offer a large array of biological texture and colour options
They may range from arthropods, Reptiles, avians, or mammal like
they might lay eggs or live birth, and / or lactate.
each member might be able to reproduce, or reproduction might be limited to Queens.
Males may be as common as females, or males may be as rare as drones, or vice versa
or they may be hermaphrodites, all the same gender.
they may travel FTL, or in sleeper ships. they might come to conquer
or they may come in peace, trading cultural media and technology
or they’ll resupply at Jupiter, mars or venus, and we may never meet them.
either way in a 27.6 billion year old universe, with a horizon of 13.8 billion light years
The Milkyway is about 58 million light years from center
Earth and our sun estimated at 4 billion years old, means we are very late to the party.
then you consider that planets can only exist around stars of the 2nd generation or later
Combined with all the conditions that need to be met for life to evolve.
and that given 3 billion years of evolution, we are the only intelligent race on this planet
Then consider that our species and probably other intelligent species communicate with radio waves, of the AM or FM variety,
the Background microwave radiation of the universe would add noise to that communication,
combined with the large distances of space, dampening a signal the further you try to send it.
meaning you need a radio source that is at least as bright as a star or a galaxy, and/or uses gamma rays as the carrier signal.
then given the limitations of Light speed communication, we’ll never receive a reply in a lifespan
Alien life may be out there, but without a wrap drive, we’ll never know
for all we know intelligent life never evolved anywhere else.
Really great job on Sandra’s wind blown hair, by the way. It came out really good!
They are not afraid of us. They are afraid of our government. The people are nice enough but the governing bodies are too stupid and greedy for the aliens to be able to approach peaceably. Once the government is no longer controlled by the idiots (good luck with that) the aliens would be happy to approach us and teach us some of what they know. Till that happens however they won’t come within sight of our species.
All this talk of aliens visiting Sandra’s Earth got me to thinking on a weird tangent: if aliens did visit, who else better than a member of the Green Lantern Corps.
Now I’m ponding which S+W character would make the best use of each of the rings for the Emotional Spectrum corps.
Stupid brain can’t do basic math sometimes, but remembers every lantern corps, the oaths and 25+ years of GL comics.
Fuck yeah, Humanity!
Valkeiper2012 wrote:
I believe there was One More line at the end of that story.
“10 years later, the joke didn’t seem all that funny anymore.”
.
One episode of Toddlers and Tiaras transmitted into deep space and all sentient life will certainly know horror.