[0900] Safe Sex
└ posted on Monday, 3 July 2017, by Novil
- Richard: Sometimes you just can’t resist your urges. You have to be prepared for such moments!
- Ye Thuza: Very true. That reminds me of how I spent a night in a secluded cottage with a cute boy when I was 15.
- Ye Thuza: We were young and foolish and didn’t take the necessary precautions. So the inevitable happened…
- Ye Thuza: … A tiger attacked us and ate him.
- Ye Thuza: That’s why I recommend always carrying a loaded Desert Eagle .357 Magnum for safe sex.
S&W in German/auf Deutsch
![[0900] Safe Sex](/comics/2017-07-03-0900-safe-sex.png "[0900] Safe Sex")
*deep breath* No.
I’m…not really shocked by this revelation.
Hopefully the tiger ate him after…well, AFTER. Otherwise that would make an even suckier way to get killed than it’d already be.
Ma always preferred a .38 revolver.
Congrats on 900, Novil and Powree. Only a few more until 1000 🙂
+1 for not having her finger inside the trigger guard, as most media portrays holding a pistol.
Looks like Ye Thuza just climbed up my list of top-ten favorite characters!
Sorry [Hobbes], but sometimes a tiger attacks too much…
@ Hugh Minn:
I wanna know what’s in The Book Of Woo! 😀
Joke aside, a Desert Eagle in .357 magnum is a terrible choice. The handgun is designed to cycle the gas volume from .50 Action Express, and the .357 and .44 variants tend to have reliability issues as a result.
But beware if the tiger is holding up an encyclopedia 😮
“You have syphilis? Don’t worry, it can kill that, too!”
Ye Thuza’s stories never go where you think they will.
Though they always end in the same place:Threats of bodily harm or gushing over a favored weapon.
MSN00100 wrote:
This is where a revolver is truly an excellent choice!
If you happen to have a misfire you just pull the trigger again.
Also, Yuna probably fixed the gun so it wouldn’t have gas issues… 😛
@ MSN00100:
As I recall, the reason for the .50 Desert Eagle being designed in the first place was that someone thought a .50 calibre gas-operated pistol would just be super-cool. Its popularity is largely attributed to its slick design, impressive appearance and frequent use in action films. I also recall that most serious ballistics users criticise it as being too heavy and too loud, with recoil being deleterious to aim, and tend to dismiss it as a poseur’s weapon.
Obviously, one wouldn’t want to face a tiger with just a handgun anyway. If one had to… how about a .45 revolver? Very reliable, and should have enough stopping power.
Yeah, that’s not what safe sex means…
Why go DE when you can go Smith & Wesson 500.
*has unholy visions of a Deagle as a sex toy wielded by Ye Thuza*
I wonder if she was still with the KIA at that point. ( Heavily assuming it was the KIA which recruited her in the first place.)
Ye Thuza, I think you’re misunderstanding what “sex with protection” means.
….Wait, or was I? Crud, is that what it actually meant?
The Desert Eagle frame is really designed for the .50 AE chambering as noted above. I would recommend .40 S&W (in some other frame) over the .45 ACP, it’s a much better load for almost every purpose, including taking down tigers. I suspect the S&W .500 Magnum would leave too little tiger to make a rug, and I’m not even sure Glasser makes safety slugs for .500.
Ye thuza is one of my favourite characters. You never know what she’s going to say, even though we all expect its going to be something crazy. XD
You can’t have safer sex than while wielding a Desert Eagle. And even better: it’s unisex!
S/o to my first webcomic: http://www.girlswithslingshots.com/comic/gws-chaser-522
“It’s an .88 Magnum. Shoots through schools.” << Who here recognizes that line? 🙂
Grayson Judd wrote:
Great-Aunt carried a break-open S&W “Lemon squeezer” in her purse until she went into the retirement home. 🙂 (Up in the Kentucky hills.)
*facepalm* this is awesome. I would recommend living in a place without tigers, like I do, but then I remember I live in Australia and have to carry a big stick everywhere.
Suddenly having her be the mediator in this discussion may not have been the brightest of ideas.
Wouldn’t it be easier and safer to stay out of secluded cottages?
“I asked Ye Thuza to talk to Sandra…..*why*, exactly?”
And thus, Sandra’s dad is once again reminded that Ye Thuza and he have very different backgrounds…
@ Freezer:
Found I found a slight error, you put or instead of and.
That definitely went a different direction than what I expected.
Sandra’s going to be emotionally scarred from her sex talk in entirely different ways than normal kids are! 😀
I love it. Noodle incident BTW, we don’t know how she got of it.
Burma is home to Royal Bengal Tigers. They’re protected – humans are usually expendable there, especially in Rakhine.
@ MSN00100:
I’ve handled Desert Eagles in .50 AE, .44 Mag, and .357 Mag – Never had any issues. Only issues I know of are failure-to-feed with the .357 which is usually because of a weak spring or bent feed lips, both easily fixable.
Now, if you’re one of those unlucky sods to have a caliber-conversion .44 or .357 (be suspicious if a price is too good, it’s probably a convert), then yeah those have issues. You have to use Super load cartridges to get enough chamber pressure to move the slide correctly and then every few hundred rounds you’ll need to check the feed lips on the magazines for deformation.
Factory .357 and .44 Desert Eagles are great, especially the .357 (if you can wrap your mitts around the grips). The .357 has negligible recoil impulse compared to other automags out there.
Great joke, good trigger disipline, terrible choice of sidearm.
@ Brian: While I can see a pun to be made from safety slug, those things won’t punch through deer hide, much less tiger. Frankly, unless you live in an appartment, they are worthless.
I’m also confused how you brought the tired 9v.40v.45 argument into this. Every handgun caliber, even.500sw, is too small for big game. Many rifle calibers are too small for dangerous game like tiger.
Desert Eagle .357 Magnum : when you need to hit a burglar behind the fridge in your neighbour house and for safe sex now.
Ye Thuza is just messing with them.
I think.
@ Mercenary:
That’s not entirely true. .500 S&W is plenty adequate for big game. Unless you don’t qualify bears as big game. Several other loadings in it’s size range have similar performance.
That said the recoil from said guns is a might bit too high for fast follow-ups so maybe not the best choice unless hunting with a buddy (if you’re not hunting with a buddy you should be).
Entry 1000 gets closer and closer.
Yeah, a Desert Eagle is not the right tool to keep you safe. It’s very flashy, but impractical, and not very reliable compared to other weapons. Kind of like going for groceries in a F1 car..
Not .50 AE?! What is she even doing! That puny .357 is NOT what the gun was designed for!
Tried handling the Desert Eagle once, unfortunately I’ve got small hands, and the grip is like a two by four, what with the magazine for those .50 Action Express cartridges. Just couldn’t get a secure grip. I’m surprised Ye Thuza can, she must have sizeable hands for a woman.
That’s why I rely on a revolver in .45 Colt long. Well, that and my dad gave it to me just before he died. He used to refer to it as his “pimp gun”, because it’s gold plated. (He won it in a poker game.)
Good thing it’s a powerful round, ’cause anybody who sees me with that thing has got to die, it’s just so embarrassing. I mean, who gold plates revolvers? Talk about bad taste.
Ok, I definitely like Ye Thuza.
Though really now, why is Sandra getting the speech? It’s not really her fault she got lingery gifted to her.
…
I’m a bit unsettled that the more I think about it, the more undesirable situations adjacent to having sex could be avoided or dealt with by being effectively armed.
That’s two comics in a row I’m agreeing with Ye Thuza more than the conventional wisdom. I have some values to re-evaluate!
I can’t imagine the Desert Eagle being all that good to keep with you. Unless you like carrying big, heavy things. If you want a big cartridge, get a revolver. If you want a good universal sidearm, get a 9mm – one round won’t take down a tiger but a full mag might. Besides, if you want to keep away wildlife, get pepper spray – that’s more likely to get rid of big animals instead of just making them angry
@ Brett Bellmore:
Exactly! Not to mention it takes quite a bit of brawn to charge such a weapon. A revolver is a much more sensible choice for a young girl, though Ye Thurza chose a good caliber. Not for tigers, mind you, but the .357 can also chamber .38, which are modestly cheaper with less recoil… perfect for a beginner.
Hobbes! No!
Randy19 wrote:
The parents likely both just realized how much their children were growing up.
Though I’m giggling at the irony of, “your boyfriend’s mom is having a sex talk with you… with a .357 in her hand…”
@ Greenwood Goat:
I’ll take a handgun over a rifle or a shotgun. Just think, when the tiger is mauling you it’s very close. It’s going to be hard to fire a longer gun at it. The barrel will get in the way!
More seriously though… if you need the extra accuracy you get from the longer barrel it’s not defense it’s hunting.