[0900] Safe Sex
└ posted on Monday, 3 July 2017, by Novil
- Richard: Sometimes you just can’t resist your urges. You have to be prepared for such moments!
- Ye Thuza: Very true. That reminds me of how I spent a night in a secluded cottage with a cute boy when I was 15.
- Ye Thuza: We were young and foolish and didn’t take the necessary precautions. So the inevitable happened…
- Ye Thuza: … A tiger attacked us and ate him.
- Ye Thuza: That’s why I recommend always carrying a loaded Desert Eagle .357 Magnum for safe sex.
S&W in German/auf Deutsch
![[0900] Safe Sex](/comics/2017-07-03-0900-safe-sex.png "[0900] Safe Sex")
Murica – you gotta love it… 😉
@ Iron Ed:
“Johnny and the Mothers are playing “Stompin’ at the Savoy” in Vermont tonight.”
and of course “You shouldn’t hang me on a hook, Johnny. My father hung me on a hook once. Once.“
*deep breath*
Well, if you say so, Ye Thuza.
oh, that kind of protected sex.
Randy19 wrote:
We know for a fact that Sandra was enthusiastic about the idea of wearing a lingerie in front of Cloud. Richard does not have the benefit of being a viewer of this comic and don’t know about it, but there are ways he can sense such things. For example, Sandra may have, after the lingerie incident, become more excited about Cloud visiting her or she visiting Cloud than she used to be. Also, she kept the lingerie. There may also be other ways for Richard to spot that he cannot any longer hold off discussing such subjects (even though he did already go trough contraception).
Brian wrote:
Don’t know about safety slugs, but Lehigh Defense makes a version of their Xtreme Pentrator for the S&W .500, and I guess Underwood are loading them. Exactly why you would want one is another question. As the name suggests the XP bullet will penetrate extremely well. A .380 XP will penetrate almost as deep as a regular 9mm round nose. But the shape also creates a very impressive wound cavity along the way so it’s not like you give up much damage for the penetration compared to even hollow points that’s designed to maximize expansion and energy delivery.
The S&W .500 however will penetrate very well with just about any bullet design, so the XP in .500 seems a bit ridiculous.
Personally I’d prefer a 9mm or a S&W .40 with XP rounds, or a 10mm with XD rounds if I were to defend against hungry tigers. If we were talking grizzly then I’d switch to XP round for that 10mm, or perhaps even consider a .44 Magnum revolver. Still think the .500 is just too over the top to be practical, especially in a situation when you may be panicking.
Big cats move so fast that by the time one was close enough for the .357 to have any effect, you’re already dead and half way down its gullet. Never, ever expect any handgun to save your backside under those circumstances. Not with tigers, not with leopards, not with lions, not with bears. If it did work you just got lucky. Minimum caliber for big cats would be the 9.3×62 and many countries where hunting such beasties is legal specify .375 H&H or larger. You won’t find either of then in handguns.
I only hunt things I can eat but when in bear country, carry a bear cartridge. ‘Cause you never know . . .
Well there we have it. Even Ye Thuza recommends a Magnum for safe, protected sex.
.357 great for tigers and reminding someone that “no” really means no. Ye Thuza could be onto something.
@ StrifeSilver:
“You SAID you were wearing protection!”
“I was wearing my armor!”
She’s living in the States now. She’s not carrying a Desert Eagle for tigers, because we don’t have any in the wild.
I think she mentioned tigers specifically because she lived in Burma, but in Burma tigers were likely the least of her worries.
Huh, I’d have expected a more practical recommendation from Ye Thuza. I don’t think Sandra has the frame to handle a DEagle’s recoil.
@ 1oldbear:
You can find ANYTHING in a handgun. Even .50 BMG. (Which, surprisingly, is manageable with a good muzzle brake, but pity anyone beside you.)
Brett Bellmore wrote:
Just because something is possible doesn’t make it a good idea! 😀
Panels 2 and 3 would be absolutely perfect as a Project Wonderful banner.
Psychronia wrote:
Well, she can also point that gun to the guys head and tell him “you better use a condom or else …” 😉
… this is actually pretty good advice, given how often two kids splitting off to have sex immediately dies afterwards in a horror movie
I’m wondering if Cloud has heard this story.
What’s the Mrs. Manners protocol for bringing a concealed carry weapon unannounced into a friend-with-children’s house, anyway?
@ MidoriLuna:
Make sure it’s not loaded?
Ahahahahaha I love her! ^^ absolutly one of my favorite char’s in your story… apart from Larisa ofc ;P
@ Horerczy:
500sw is the best handgun for bear, but that’s not the same as being sufficient for bear. Handguns, by their very nature, are not overly powerful. If you want something on your hip in bear country, you want a .500, but that’s not because it’s a good tool for bear, rather, it’s because the .500 is the least worthless.
For hunting bear, nothing smaller than hot loaded 30-06 is recommended, and often far larger calibers are carried. Bear will often survive multiple hits of .308 (the MT fish and game wardens can verify this, because it’s what they use, and wardens often report it insufficient). Compared to these, .500 is mediocre at best, particularly out of a short handgun barrel.
I imagine tigers are much the same.
@ MidoriLuna:
Well it’s no longer concealed carry, is it! 😛
@ Mercenary:
I’ll trust my .44. Ruger New Model Super Blackhawk in bear country. At least I can still aim it after the first 4 shots.
Sooooo heavy though.
A Desert Eagle in anything less than 50ae? I’m disappointed! Go big or go home!
@ MSN00100:
This. And also, the .357 is quite the manstopper, but doesn’t work so well (read: reliably one-shoting) against large predators when fired from a pistol. Best last resort defence handgun against large predators are short-barreled revolvers in hilariously big calibers, the so-called “bear guns”. My personal favorte is a S&W 500, but that’s just a matter of personal preference.
I’m not sure why I expected anything else from Ye Thuza…..
This sounds like an advice Frank Drebin from LAPD would give…
“I, uh… I don’t thing we’re talking about the same thing.”
Isn’t the Desert Eagle designed for target shooting, not for active use? The Smith&Wesson Model 500, on the other hand, was specifically made for hunting BEARS.
@ StrifeSilver:
I disagree
44 mag is better for the DE, the 50 is pretty useless but fun to show off at the range
@ Kracka:
Personally I think the double barrel 1911 is cooler…
@ Dwwolf:
Larisa would probably use the TP-82:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TP-82
…if her flamethrower ever ran out of fuel, of course.
Brings new meaning to, “who’s is bigger?” 😉
@ Mortar:
It’s not how big it is, it’s how you use it…
@ Jayohenn:
Didn’t work for the you-tubers either.
So… is Ye Thuza technically flirting with Pops?
@ Paeris Kiran:
IIRC, he used somewhat more conventional sexual “protection”, albeit in the XXXL size.
The pun…. she carries a Magnum in her purse for safe sex. Not only is it a brand of gun, it’s also a brand of condom. The humor in this series sometimes.
Sexi sure ok, but a Desert Eagle … No, for teens the best is a Ruger LCP , or some of this kinf is lighter and has less recoil
Desert Eagle recoil https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc_WamMBoRs
Ruger LCP https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99TIAa848Q8
Coke again, Mrs. Thuza?! XD WHAT?! XD
It wasn’t me!
Okay, now she’s just messing with them…
That smug face at the end
Oh, Ye Thuza! 🙂
Hobbes wrote:
You finally got fed up with Calvin, didn’t you? Did Suzie put you up to it?
And always make sure the boy knows you’ve got it and sees it.
Some people really need to do their research before commenting. The Desert Eagle was originally released in .357 Magnum and .44 Magnum. The .50 AE version came later.