[1094] Tribal Wars
└ posted on Monday, 1 July 2019, by Novil
I failed to translate the great insults by the two soccer fans of the German version into English. They would be incomprehensible for anyone without knowledge of the Dortmund – Schalke rivalry and are also based on wordplays. I used more generic phrases instead, but they’re just not as funny… If you have some good ideas, I’m all ears.
- Richard: This will all end in tears, I’m telling you!
- Sandra: Why do you think so?
- Clerk: Früherer Beruf? | Former occupation?
- Clerk: Früherer Beruf?
- German man: Vorstandsvorsitzender eines Telekommunikationsdienstleistungsunternehmens. | CEO of a telecommunication service company.
- Richard: First of all, there’s the language barrier!
- German woman: When last I was in Cologne I did see, upon thy menu chicken wings most grand. I doth beseech thee, send for some posthaste.
- Cashier: Wha’s’up?
- Sandra: They will adapt.
- Richard: They’re also utterly ignorant of our progressive culture.
- Sign: LGBTQQIAAP office
- Günther: Do you know what the second Q stands for, Hans?
- Hans: No idea, Günther.
- Sandra: Do you know what the second Q stands for?
- Richard: And last but not least, they will bring their tribal wars into our peaceful town!
- Dortmund ultra: Schlocke 0:4!
- Schalke ultra: Yup! Away game in Dorkmund!
- Schalke ultra: Never walk alone? Never walk again!
- Dortmund ultra: Go down if you’re a Schalke fan!
- Bayern ultra: KAAAAAAAAHN!
- Sandra: I have to admit, those can be really terrifying…
![[1094] Tribal Wars](/comics/2019-07-01-1094-tribal-wars.png "[1094] Tribal Wars")
Second Q = Questioning?
@ Whirlwound:
That’s a good a guess as any. When they added the “+” at the end even my gay friends gave up.
@ TwoTail:
I gave up after Queer. Dont understand why this continued in New Zealand after Gay Rights, they just pop up every june complaining about some minor instance of bigotry from some moron in the middle of no-where and disappear.
Also damn Germans, ruining our European culture.
When in doubt, Google
@ Anon:
Link wasn’t printed
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/33278165/we-know-what-lgbt-means-but-heres-what-lgbtqqiaap-stands-for
@ Whirlwound:
That’s correct, though reasonable people stop at 4 or 5 letters, so after Trans or Queer.
LGBTQQIAAP would stand for “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Agender, Polysexual”. P could also stand for Pansexual.
“Progressive culture”? I thought they said it was America.
I personally think about starting to use NC&H, for Not Cisgender & Hetero lol XD
@ SpriteGuard:
Do tell, what do you think “American” culture is? Hint, it’s a big country.
“Never walk alone? Never walk again!” is pretty choice. And I’m not even a Liverpool fan.
I see some people are using “GRSM” for “gender, romantic, and sexual minorities.” Let’s see if that catches on.
You want sports nut insults? Just check any online chat that mentions sports of any type. Never was that into watching sports but some of the discussions make religious fanatics look tame. Some fans throw riots even when they win. This is America I’m talking about.
*Grins just Wait until they get to Texas.
@ SpriteGuard:
Well, strange since Germany was the first country to research on Transgender.
Sadly, it was just a decade before a certain group formed by Austrain art-school flunkie decided to pay a visit to the institute who reserached it with a bonfire outside.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institut_f%C3%BCr_Sexualwissenschaft
Just that maybe US seems to be more pronounced with the existence of Tumblr.
Consider the similarity with 30 years war, back in those days, Germans would be encouraged to settle the frontiers, especially mountainous Appalachia or maybe farmlands in Midwest.
eh, you’ve already establsihed they speak old-timey-esque, so it works
The second Q must be a sneak by Oliver: For those who are wholesomely titillated by Quadratic equations. As for the sports insults, would there have been room for them in the wide gutter with the full CEO position-name?
With the current plot thread I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry. I know ze Germanz are a stand-in to make a point, but somehow the cliche is just sooo bad.
1) This is a rare occasion, where the German strip is more funny.
2) Wasn’t the problem that it’s basically impossible to include every possible sexual orientation why we invented the word queer? I mean, there are as many sexual orientation as there are humans, you don’t account for that, by adding more terms. You need one word that fits everyone. Like human.
Except that the American culture isn’t their native. The natives were displaced by the invaders from the Old World.
(So, while it’s understandable that the Old World countries wouldn’t want immigrant strangers, even though their ancestors have been colonising other parts of the world for centuries, from the Americans it would be truly hypocritical, as their culture is, by its nature, an immigrant culture.)
Some good English insults for those teams would be Dorkmund and Schlocke.
I was told by friends growing up in the U.S. that “dork” meant “whale penis,” but that was just an urban myth (though apparently it is slang for a man’s penis). The way it’s used, it just means a socially inept person. Some people think “dork” and “geek” are interchangeable, but geeks are just people into geeky things (fantasy, sci-fi, technology, etc). Geeks were often dorks before geek culture became more acceptable, but they could also be cool. Dorks are just unpopular weirdos.
Schlock is a noun for something low quality, trashy, juvenile, amateur. It’s usually applied to art and media. Most of Adam Sandler’s movies are schlock.
I think »Schlacke 05« (instead of »Schalke 04«) translates pretty well to »Slag 05«.
But the level offence and word-plays in »RasenBallsport Lüdenscheid-Nord« (instead of »BallspielVerein Borussia 09 Dortmund«) is just untranslatable…
@ ValdVin:
Although what has Liverpool got to do with Germany? Although the British football fans are just as boisterous.
Full list from memory:
Lesbian
Gay
Bisexual
Transgender
Queer
Questioning
Intersex
Asexual
Agender
Pansexual
…..I think? Will need to check
The sad part is, this story arc will probably end on an positve high note.
Reality will probably not. 🙁
Since I dislike Dortmund and detest Schalke, their rivalry is always fun for me to watch. Unless people get hurt, of course.
I like the English version more than the German version, actually. Especially the last bubble. I think it works well enough as a general chant without immediately associating it with Liverpool, especially if you do not know much about soccer football.
Schmertzen actually has an English cognate ‘smart’, a sharp stinging pain. Normally used only in specific phrases like “that smarts”. There SHOULD be a way to make that work, but I’m not clever enough. Or “master of hearts? Master of hurts” might work.
“True love? True loss!” (not a translation, but …)
@ Patrick Ohm:
Fun fact: The last bubble in the English version is related to Dortmund – but in the German version it’s definetely related to Schalke (lost championship 2001)
Would be much more fun it it was that “girl” from Cyberpunk 2077 poster infront of that office but still…
soon these people will run out of aphabet letters (and that includes greek alphabet too)
Wikipedia page on the rivalry is at
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revierderby and
https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revierderby
Both are significant sized, well researched, pages.
anon wrote:
So that source got me into an embarassing situation, because it states that one of the A stands for “allies”
@ SpriteGuard:
Yes, America, where the president sent a gay to be ambassador to Germany. Then, the same president submitted a brief to the UN to decriminalize gays in, mostly Middle Eastern nations. Yes, that America.
The geman parallel is easy to understand, but imho the people shown in the strip are culturally only good representations of the old german population of european origin, but not really a good reprentation of the current majority german population of mixed origin and imho a better parallel could be made with diehard national socialists arriving in the USA just after the end of WW2 (fleeing from the arriving allied troops) and trying everything to keep their 3rd reich culture. The USA was always the melting pot, but just add enough pepole, who don’t want to melt or even more people so the new liquid would be mostly new and you have the same situation when the first settlers arrived. I don’t think the europeans of those old days integrated into the native american culture well. First it was ok and how thanksgiving was born. Then more people arrived and they just replaced the native americans with a new european american culture. Pretty much how the current german culture was born in the 1970ies when the first guest workers arrived, with most 3rd generation new germans don’t really speaking german as they don’t really need to.
I’m sure that any nation has the right to allow themselves or their culture to be replaced but sadly most of them (like the native amerian tribes) never got asked if they wanted it or not. Of course this should be up for vote as the process is not reversible. However the current UN compact on migration states that it’s a human right to live wherever one wants, so any country which signed it has no right to say no to any number of people, regardless of their culture. This has the potential to create a new melting pot on a planetary scale, where there are no nations or national identities and people are divided at most along religious lines and their culture and language is mostly either a generic mix (a la blade runner) or based on their religion.
ps: i think LGBTQQIAAP should be written with 3 P-s at the end to be more inclusive…
TheWhalersNotTheCoffeeChain wrote:
OMG, I honestly thought that Novil made all the letters after the first q up, although I did hear the other five terms before. I guess I must be one of those barbarian Germans ;-). Seriously, does anyone use that full acronym like it is spelt out in the comic? I only ever saw it used as LGBT+ or LGBTQ and was under the Impression that the + as well as the q served to cover any other small group varieties of sexuality.
YNWA!
Love the Liverpool reference! (I’m assuming the 4-0 could also be a Liverpool championship reference)
The question is: “Do I care what the second Q stands for?”
It’s just getting ridiculous. But there’s a magic bullet: /[A-Z]+/ 😉
I see what you did there, Novil.
YNWA info
https://www.liverpoolfc.com/news/first-team/214970-the-story-of-ynwa-and-borussia-dortmund
It’s GRSM, people. Stop adding letters; you’re on the wrong track. It’s just GRSM.
Why is everybody ignorant of my progressive culture?
@ TheWhalersNotTheCoffeeChain:
Half the time the “A”s are allies and agender, which naturally makes me (and probably other aces) angry because it’s hard not to take it as a deliberate snub.
@someguy
Technically Queer covers almost all of these anyway, with the possible exceptions of Asexual and Questioning.
QAQ also sounds more fetching as far as I’m concerned.
interventor wrote:
America where a woman got shot, causing a miscarriage and is in jail for causing an abortion of her fetus or was it embryo? Ah, she’s out on bail and she was 5 months pregnant.
English speaking ones and Americans in particular have a AküFi… :3
If you thought soccer clubs cause wars, you never heard about a pastry called Berliner. :>
Not sure why Schalke of Gelsenkirchen and Borussia Dortmund would be playing in Frankfurt
That big acronym doesn’t include a D so it doesn’t include my sexuality which is demisexual. It might be part of the Gray Asexual umbrella but doesn’t really work for Asexual since it’s kinda… entirely separate? That’s why I tend to prefer LGBT+. Everyone’s included and we can all stop arguing over something silly…
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
TwoTail wrote:
Yeah, I just go with “Rainbow Spectrum,” now. It gets the point across and inherently has an implication of “pretty much everything.”
@ guest:
1: The 3rd reich was fascist not socialist but nice try
2: I fail to see why the vast mixing of genetic backgrounds towards some vague idea of a fully lended “race” is an explicitly bad thing but if it makes you feel better, our exponentially knowledge of genetics will probably keep that from happening wether you prefer the alternative or not.
3: We know what you are implying and you are not funny.
@ blackholefourspam:
Nazi Party, byname of National Socialist German Workers’ Party, German Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei (NSDAP), political party of the mass movement known as National Socialism.
The way most cultures have been replaced in the past is through genocide.
I keep getting called a Nazi for saying this, but genocide is wrong.
@ guest:
Pan, Poly and? Oh…
@ blackholefourspam:
“1: The 3rd reich was fascist not socialist but nice try”
The fascists were the italians. The germans had the national socialist party (NSDAP). The difference is the word national. Unlike international socialists or communists, the national socialists excluded every non pure german from the idea of a human. The international version is inclusive, so anyone who belives in communism could be a communist. This is pretty much how modern day islam works. Nationalty doesn’t matter as long as you are a true believer. Unless you are part of a different sect, but given enough time, only one variant will remain alive. (most likely vahabism) Actually this is why communism, islam or even the ideology of the ‘anonymous’ group has a better potential of surviving than national identities. Because ideologies and religions could survive the people who created them and could be taken up by the new residents. Also it’s easier to spread them if anyone can join.
This of course excludes tribal religions where you have to be from the same tribe to be allowed in the religious group. One of the oldest surviving example is Judaism where the closedness of the religion has actually helped preserve the original tribe’s idenity and prevent mixing, but made it near impossible for the religion to survive without the descendants of the original people.
“2: I fail to see why the vast mixing of genetic backgrounds towards some vague idea of a fully lended “race” is an explicitly bad thing but if it makes you feel better, our exponentially knowledge of genetics will probably keep that from happening wether you prefer the alternative or not.”
Never said it’s a bad thing. As long as the whole planet is one true community it will happen given enough time. New genetic diversity could only rise when humanity is split again, like colonizing a new world that is far enough to make travel impractical after the initial one way trip and have different enough conditions to warrant a large enough shift to be noticable. One such recent split in the animal world is the raccoons who live in Germany. They are fully isolated from the main populations, so free to wander genetically from the american population or the russian one. They even have two distinct groups among Germany, but as their numbers grow, the two will eventually merge.
“3. We know what you are implying and you are not funny.”
Good to know, as i’m not implying anything. It’s just not complete if you don’t include literally everyone and imho that is a good thing, regardless of how many repeat letters it needs. This is like the pink color from the rainbow flag. The original version was so much better with the original meanings connected to each color.