[1098] Rightful German Clay
└ posted on Monday, 15 July 2019, by Novil
For once, Google stands on the right side of history:

- Aid worker: Thank you for your help in talking some sense into the Germans. There has been a significant reduction of high-precision ball bearings related crime in the last days. I have to say you’re really good at talking to those Germans.
- Sandra: Well, I’m of German ancestry myself, so I know how they think.
- Sign: Coffee, Cake & Schlachtplatte
- Girl: You have German ancestors? That means you also have this eternal, almost uncontrollable urge to put the wretched Frogs in their place once and for all and reclaim our rightful territory Alsace-Lorraine?
- Sandra: Exactly!
European geography is weird… but yeah Germans got short end of stick because of country basically not existing until middle of 19th century…
Dans tes rêves, Sandra.
@ Ouri Maler:
Oui, oui, mais elle reves toujours.
*sniff* Bismarck would be so proud.
@ Tyler:
Did someone say BISMARCK?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oVWEb-At8yc
(Ok… maybe I just like excuses to link that song… Bismarck is motion – A beast made of steel…)
Ah you mean Elsaß-Lothringen.
OMG> I have *friends* from Alsace. I hope they don’t read this comic, she’d be booking a flight to Germany right now. Packing her swords, too.
The time for Elsass-Lothringen will come, however Pommern, Preussen and Schlesien take priority.
Heh.. The young’un is cute as a button. 🙂
Oh yeah? Well, as a Dane, I want to throw Germans out of Slesvig-Holsten and recaim our rigihtful territory!
@ Thisguy:
He was made to rule the waves across the seven seas
To lead the war machine
To rule the waves and lead the Kriegsmarine
I think that those who should decide that are the inhabitants of Alsace and Lorraine. These political struggles for territories should be decided democratically, in a just and utopian world. And there’s my political comment and, for a while, about this webcomic, I do not like the direction this arc is taking. I read it to laugh a little, not to think about politics.
What will this do for the pork belly futures market? Will there be a pork bubble?
Vive la France
@ Tomas:
I thought it was obvious that this strip is MAKING FUN of the idea of revanchism. You really think Novil is being serious?
@ MarqFJA87:
Today, I learned another word English stole from French
Most Americans who have German ancestry have more English ancestry. In most states, “German” is the most commonly reported ancestry, but not in Utah, where the Mormons are expected to do genealogical research.
A cousin of mine has traced her ancestry (and mine) to a Revolutionary War veteran who was in turn descended from the Mayflower pilgrims. Enough generations have lived since then that most Americans likely have ancestors who arrived on the Mayflower, and ancestors who fought in the Revolution.
I have always thought I was principally of German ancestry, but these facts have made me rethink that.
I’m from a small region named Franconia and I still mourn the loss of Sicily.
@ John R Beeler:
Fun fact: If you trace back ancestors far enough – and correctly enough everybody (at least outside of Africa) would have to name the same small group of a few thousand people like 70 000 years ago.
And for regions like America or Europe or the middle east who had .. “contact” with large parts of the Globe for Centuries or even millennia … our ancestors usually come from just about everywhere, even on much shorter timescales.
If you’re searching for “pure bred” populations you have to look at isolated cultures like San (and even then you probably need some luck).
Yeah….because that went SOOOOO well the last 2 times they tried it.
Slippery line of joke here,
After Alsace-Lorraine what would be next?, Bohemia-Moravia…Dantzig even?
I hope Cloud’s dad doesn’t have some “frog” in him.
@ mnmega:
Lots of people spent time in France. Easy place to get to, you can bring the family for a generation or two, you can act like the bill collector you left behind in the old country is looking for someone else…
mnmega wrote:
Why’re only thinking about his DAD here? Just because his mom is from a former *British* colony?
I’m pretty sure that there’s some French blood in most of modern Englishmen/-women too, if you just look for it.
mnmega wrote:
Err, actually that could be exactly where this strip is going 😉 But maybe it’s also Michelle?
@ Daniel Holm:
As a Swedish i feel it has been to long since we last went to war with Denmark over Norway, so lets fight again 🙂
@ Swedish Chef:
Exactly! After WW2 they were sent back nach reich and we Czechs get trouble only from Gypsies
@ clickbait: Yep—the Lake Toba eruption.
Frank wrote:
It’s not exactly hard to find: Important, restaurant, air, condition, situation, site, orange, prune, lion, violent, content, institution, double, triple, genre, simple… And those are only words which are written exactly the same. About a quarter of English words are derived from French.
This is the things that happen when you got invaded by the French a thousand years ago 🙂
Daniel Holm wrote:
You can have Skåne back if you’d like, we’re not currently using it.
C’est beau de rêver, mais il faut se réveiller un jour. 🙂
Daniel Holm wrote:
As a Dutch citizen living in the Dutchy of Brabant I reclaim large parts of Belgium and France in the name of reuniting the ancient house of Valois-Burgundy. That includes Upper-Alsace and the Dutchy of Lorraine!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duchy_of_Burgundy#/media/File:Karte_Haus_Burgund_4_EN.png
@ Alvar:
Ehh. I’m really not much of a warmonger. How about a game of chess instead? Norway goes to the winner.
Osaru Sensei wrote:
Clearly you have ulterior motives. I shall not fall for your wiles!
I’m sure the Danes are eyeing up Scania as we speak?
I’m surprised Germany hasn’t made a cash offer for Kalingrad…
Ireland can have Nor’n Ireland, though with Brexit coming they’ll have enough problems as it is…
Old German Saying – “Life is like Belgium, sometimes you just have to march through it.”
Oh Boy
Novil, you really like jokes that are in the border of beeing offensive. I’ll not gonna tell you to stop and I do think it’s perfectly fine to do so.
But man, it’s really a gamble with your Comics of they will make you feel good or unconfortable. I don’t know If that ist a bad Thing. Art should be unconfortable.
On a less serious note: Ist would make was more Sense to redraw all Borders into way smaller uinits that make regionally Sense. I live in the area near the german-french Border and I have way more contact and interactions with people from the other Side of the border, than from the other side of my country. So down with national staates and back to scattered regionalism!!!
This German refugees arc is the worst.
@ Daniel Holm:
Denmark to the Eider!
@ Trimutius:
Look up the Fall of the Carolingian Empire for some more context…
@ Regis Earsquake:
All borders are arbitrary.
You might think that islands have natural borders … just ask around enough people on a small one like Ireland … some would say Northern Ireland should be part of the Irish Republic, others sure will differ.
Somebody said: “put three humans on an island, and they will sure draw a border somewhere.”
That lil’ girly is sooo cute and sooo cliche 😉
I bet most kids her age wouldn’t want to get caught dead wearing an outfit like that.
Zephyrus wrote:
No, first priority is get rid of Baveria.
They are the reason for everything wrong in the world.
The frogs have stolen much clay from people over the years.
Did you know Calais belongs to Britain?
Achim wrote:
I want Saxonian Independence!
@ PS2kid:
Bratwurst or rotwurst?
@ clickbait:
Three Frenchmen on a desert island will form four political parties.
Hand a German a rifle and he’ll head for France. Its genetic. Thankfully, I guess, the German military is so weak, the Alabama national guard out matches them.
interventor wrote:
Hand ME a rifle and I’ll throw it into the next garbage bin. And our military is deliberately weak.
Nobody (least of all most of us Germans) really wants a Germany with a military to match our economical power.
And nobody would wnat to invade us anyway. What would they have to gain? Natural resources? We don’t really have much in that field? Agriculture or industry? Invade the country and you’d have to destroy too much of what you want to conquer – and then YOU’d have to rebuild it before you can use it.
Slaves? Sure there’s 80 million people here … but we won’t make good slaves. We’re much too whiny.
Bottom line: invading Germany is a futile maneuver. And Germany has zilch, zero, nada interest in conquering anything anymore.
LordBongingtonTheFifth wrote:
Not just Calais, that was just the last bit of our possessions in France to go, once we had Normandy and Burgundy and Aquitaine, and of course Bretagne.