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Currently on hiatus :-(
 S&W in German/auf DeutschGaia (my fantasy comic) Scarlet (my science fantasy comic) |
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![[1315] Deepest Desires](/comics/2022-02-05-1315-deepest-desires.png "[1315] Deepest Desires")
- Biologist: Lo and behold! A serum that allows animals not only to speak, but also to express their deepest thoughts and desires!
- Biologist: There aren’t enough ingredients in the whole world for a second dose. Therefore, I will administer this one to my dear and faithful Balou!
- Balou: Play!
- Balou: Cuddle!
- Balou: Play!
- Biologist: I don’t know what I expected…
- Balou: Cuddle!
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If this is a topic that interests you, this is an actual ongoing research with a lot of dogs and cats! Tiktok and youtube have several channels dedicated to animals learning to communicate in human-intelligible way using “augmentative and alternative communication” AKA these fancy pet buttons that make sounds. One of the more famous examples is Bunny, a dog who has a hundred+ buttons that she can use to make phrases several words long! Such as “play play ball outside” and “bird go belly more” in response to getting to taste thanksgiving turkey. But there’s also a parrot on tiktok who her owner calls an “ipad kid” because she uses a tablet and requests to draw/ play games on it.
Oh, what’s this? Could this be a long awaited backstory to a character WhOO has been absent for a long time?
That seems about right.
What’s it made of that there don’t exist enough materials on Earth to make more than a couple ounces?
@ BadRoad:Indeed, but Rule of Funny applies here.
@ BadRoad:
Maybe a lot of Astatine (prob. not cause its radioactive) Scientists estimate that on the whole planet at any given time there is only a total mass of one ounce of this Element.
@ Rafaela:
The reason there’s so little is generally because it’s so radioactive it decays almost faster than it’s synthesized. I believe the blog (and book) What If? By Randall Munroe talks about it in detail when discussing the idea of collecting a literal periodic table. We don’t even know exactly what Astatine looks like because it doesn’t want to exist. If you somehow could produce a big enough piece at once it’d be vaporized by its own heat.
“Who’s a good pupper, you’re a good pupper!”
“James, I am no longer a ‘pupper’, but a grown adult. Please do not speak to me in such a degrading manner again.”
“Awwww, iz da pupper annoyed? Yes he is, yes he is!”
*sigh*
All in all, what else do you need in life? 😉
Could’ve gone worse. https://i.redd.it/7gvawfd458a41.jpg
Meanwhile, there’s Billi, a cat that has been trained to use buttons to indicate her thoughts, and she can express things like “where’s dad?”, “the sounds on the TV hurt my ears”, “I want to play zoomzoom while stoned on catnip” (not quite in that many words though), and of course, her favorite, MAD.
@ Skywatcher:
Or you might get this: http://www.threepanelsoul.com/comic/dog-philosophy
Also reminds me of this dog from “Absolutely Anything”; MC gets the power to do exactly what he wants and makes his dog able to talk, and basically all the dog says is “biscuits”. He then gives the dog intellectual capacity on a human level, and the dog still basically just keeps asking for biscuits, because “it’s what I want right now; what better desires am I supposed to have than some good snacks?”
Just wait till you give him that squeaky toy. “kill! Kill! Kill!”
There’s an old “Far Side” cartoon where a scientist makes a helmet that translates dog language, and as he walks down the street with it on, all the barking dogs are saying, “Hey! Hey! Hey! Heyyyyy!”
To be fair, this sounds like it would be 1000000000% more enjoyable to have a pet around…for the first 5 minutes…
@ r0b3rt:
Could be worse — there’s the Rick & Morty episode where Rick makes the Snuffles the family dog intelligent, and it demands to know, “where are my testicles?”
Mine would say, “Ball! Throw ball!”
It could have gone worse. How many things has your dog/cat seen you do that you don’t want them to tell people about, or speak of at all?
@ BadRoad:
The tears of an honest politician. I’m actually surprised there was enough for even a single dose.
@ Playful Parody:
On the contrary, we know exactly what it looks like: An incandescent plasma. 😉
Ichneumon wrote:
Then there’s the other researcher who learned to translate rat language using implanted electrodes. It consisted entirely of them swearing at him.
Just don’t EVER give it to squirrels:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojZVpb0cVkE
Are we just gonna ignore that Woo is canonically a talking animal? So Balou is only the second animal to be bestowed with the power of speech, if we assume none of the kits inherited it from Woo.
Awww <3
Mark wrote:
Vega has talked! Even Richard’s heard her.
http://www.sandraandwoo.com/2017/12/18/0947-the-revelation/
Yeah, not great priorities, there. “Here’s a way for humans to understand any animal – let’s give it to the one animal who humans already understand better than just about any other!”
There was an old sci-fi short-story in which all animals suddenly started broadcasting all their thoughts. Everyone thought it was cute for the first 5 minutes. Then they listened and realized the animals often thought about humans and their activities, and who they were cheating with, and how they treated animals and each other, and all kinds of other things. Many people could also no longer stand to eat an animal or use a mousetrap,etc.
After a few weeks(?) the phenomenon went away as suddenly as it had appeared, but it had drastically affected all of society, and a LOT of people had been seriously “embarrassed,” to say the least, by what the animals had told everyone about their behavior and activities. Also; a lot of pets were murdered for what they knew and told.
@ BadRoad:
Unobtanium, what else?
So unrealistic. You ever *try* to make a dog take medicine before?
Dug: Hello! My name is Dug! I have just met you and I love-SQUIRREL!
Chronos wrote:
I did. Multiple times, different things. The dog just took it and looked grateful. I admit that this particular dog is quite unique though. The second on would not do it so willingly.
Nothing since the 4th of Feb? Whatever happened to every Monday and Thursday? This is why I have stopped my donations!
@ Sensitive:
Sensitive wrote:
Food. I am amazed Novil didn’t include it among the dogs’ desires!
@ Sensitive:
Food. I am amazed Novil didn’t include it among the dogs’ desires!
@ Gatorrojo:
Uf. Being first time poster, I duplicated my comment, and I don’t know how to delete one of them. Sorry! :_(
I think it should have gone to an octopus.