- Novil: 9600, 9700, 9800–
- Novil: What the–?! It’s Stephan Pastis!
- Stephan Pastis: How dare you publish a fake obituary of my death?!
- Larry: Me as confused as you are.
- Caption: Unresolved Mysteries
- Caption: 53-year old lawyer Stephen Pastis was eaten alive by 10 crocodiles. How did they get to St. Helena, California?
- Caption: 30 years ago, the Statue of Liberty disappeared without a trace. What happened on April 8, 1983?
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