If you have an idea for a cool one-liner of Scarlet in panel 2, I’d be all ears. The current one is all right, but I’m sure a better one exists. But I wasn’t able to come up with one. It must be something that’s a good fit for a very angry intellectual. For example, I came up with the following line which I obviously couldn’t use:
“Greet Dante on your way down!”
Update: I’ve found none of the suggestions convincing so far. So it’s probably okay the way it is.
As much as I’d love to give her a Bond level one-liner, it’s a good line. It shows how she views One Ear, her opinion of bandits, and that maybe she’s been reading police dramas. “Greet Dante’- etc” is also a good line and I hope it shows up next time.
“You should’ve listened to your betters before thieving/killing”
plays on the lost ear and is intellectually arrogant, which goes with a very angry intellectual as you put it
As others have already said, it’s a good line.
Maybe I would remove the word “criminal”, as it seems to be a better answer to the previous page:
“Now you’re in big trouble, brat!”
“Now who’s in trouble, scum?”
The current line is excellent and really fits with Scarlet’s established personality. I think a very witty one-liner would work against the severity of the situation. Scarlet is under some serious stress here and while she is very passionate and brave, it feels like she’s too stressed and serious now to be joking. I’d say keep the line as is and keep the creativity for a different scenario where Scarlet’s wit can shine. 🙂
Maybe just shorten to “Who’s in trouble now, scumbag?” for better flow, it’s quite the mouthful as it is now for the situation.
Also seems weird for her to be specifically anti-criminal given the company she keeps (and that she’s now got enough bloodlust to chase fleeing opponents through the woods to try to finish them off…)
Honestly, I think it’s perfect as-is and was an actual LOL for me. “Criminal scum” already faintly intellectual and very Scarlet-like (as opposed to some run of the mill profanity or something).
I was trying to think of a wolf related idiom to make a pun with, but then it occured to me that in Scarlet’s world that would probably count as racism lol
That cylinder appeared to be full when we saw it in panel 1 of the previous comic. After one shot, it looks about a quarter empty, and she’s now taken a second shot.
(Imagine Scarlet in a supermarket. Then imagines Scarlet and newly-injured Ear covered in flour in several handcuffs in front of a police officer.) Well, “worst possible time” might involve a shootout in front of a pay toilet, and a change of pants for Scarlet. Assuming that they don’t just shoot the locks off and try to finish first, so that they can shoot the other guy first.
That’s a consideration. Just how much ammo *does* that weapon hold? And does it use up more ammo the more powerful the blast? Or maybe it has some kind of handy-dandy slow-working auto-recharge system, perhaps harvesting ambient magical energy?
I agree with everyone else, I like the line as-is. But if you’re still looking for alternatives, how about:
“I’d tell you to never come back, but it would just go in one ear and out the other!”
“Aw, don’t run away! I didn’t mean to talk your ear off!”
“You’d better hope your criminal buddies don’t find out you were beaten by a twelve-year old girl, or you’ll never HEAR the end of it!”
Is Scarlet right or left handed? She’s shooting right handed, but running holding it left handed and that struck me as odd. Only asking if it’s a mistake that you’d like corrected.
Thoroughly enjoying the story and pacing! Thanks for making this and sharing it with us.
That’s a hard one.
For showing that this scene is fast paced, Scarlet has to be shown with an arm lifted. The direction of action demands that the arm lifted is the right one.
For showing that the gun is heavy, it must be in the lower hand.
So poor Scarlet, though she has been consistently show as right-handed, had no choice but to change hands between Panel 2 and 4. I guess that’s one point the robber got a headstart.
Tibor is probably right, the scum does not seem to be a tough guy and will probably not engage in a fight he has a decent chance of losing. You can’t be sure though, he could easily be the grudge holding type and his ego may end up having the last say over his actions.
Scarlet’s aim was significant weaker than when she shoot at a target. This makes sense though, hitting a moving target while under the effects of adrenaline is harder than an immobile target. Taking another human’s life is also an obstacle on its own and people may subconsciously try to miss.
I just noticed a slight mistake:
Tibors injury seems to be gone in this comic. It was still visible in the last comic he was in but no trace of green on the ear now, i believe it should be visible in panel 5
38 thoughts on “A Sky Full of Stars 090”
Novil
If you have an idea for a cool one-liner of Scarlet in panel 2, I’d be all ears. The current one is all right, but I’m sure a better one exists. But I wasn’t able to come up with one. It must be something that’s a good fit for a very angry intellectual. For example, I came up with the following line which I obviously couldn’t use:
“Greet Dante on your way down!”
Update: I’ve found none of the suggestions convincing so far. So it’s probably okay the way it is.
Fred
The line you used is perfectly fine as-is! It ties in with the thief’s previous taunt
Vicious Sand
As much as I’d love to give her a Bond level one-liner, it’s a good line. It shows how she views One Ear, her opinion of bandits, and that maybe she’s been reading police dramas. “Greet Dante’- etc” is also a good line and I hope it shows up next time.
Principe Austral
“You should’ve listened to your betters before thieving/killing”
plays on the lost ear and is intellectually arrogant, which goes with a very angry intellectual as you put it
Frankenmilk
As others have already said, it’s a good line.
Maybe I would remove the word “criminal”, as it seems to be a better answer to the previous page:
“Now you’re in big trouble, brat!”
“Now who’s in trouble, scum?”
Dys
The current line is excellent and really fits with Scarlet’s established personality. I think a very witty one-liner would work against the severity of the situation. Scarlet is under some serious stress here and while she is very passionate and brave, it feels like she’s too stressed and serious now to be joking. I’d say keep the line as is and keep the creativity for a different scenario where Scarlet’s wit can shine. 🙂
Thomas
Maybe just shorten to “Who’s in trouble now, scumbag?” for better flow, it’s quite the mouthful as it is now for the situation.
Also seems weird for her to be specifically anti-criminal given the company she keeps (and that she’s now got enough bloodlust to chase fleeing opponents through the woods to try to finish them off…)
ME
Honestly, I think it’s perfect as-is and was an actual LOL for me. “Criminal scum” already faintly intellectual and very Scarlet-like (as opposed to some run of the mill profanity or something).
Lokitsu
“Move and I’ll shoot the other one off!”
Tauben
I was trying to think of a wolf related idiom to make a pun with, but then it occured to me that in Scarlet’s world that would probably count as racism lol
Fortiscue
THIS ENDS NOW!
Andrew Kippenhan
“Who won’t be missed NOW?!”
…which would be funny considering she immediately misses him!
Anonymous
That cylinder appeared to be full when we saw it in panel 1 of the previous comic. After one shot, it looks about a quarter empty, and she’s now taken a second shot.
Has she consumed about half of her ammo?
Novil
That was not intended. I uploaded an adjusted version. (The old version might still be cached by your browser.)
BlackDragonSlayer
They’ll probably run into him again at the worst possible time 😛
Vicious Sand
(Imagine Scarlet in a supermarket. Then imagines Scarlet and newly-injured Ear covered in flour in several handcuffs in front of a police officer.) Well, “worst possible time” might involve a shootout in front of a pay toilet, and a change of pants for Scarlet. Assuming that they don’t just shoot the locks off and try to finish first, so that they can shoot the other guy first.
hkmaly
I’m not sure they had supermarkets BEFORE the crisis. Now, they might not even have the police officers.
Vicious Sand
They ate them, too?! 🙂
Vicious Sand
Tibbles speaks twice in this page, and I think he’s going to be proved wrong on both topics. 🙂
Geo
For another one-liner: “Have an earfull of THIS, scum!”
Frith Ra
Think I’m outta Ammo, do ya? I don’t know how much this holds!
Graybeard
“I’m going to save the world, but for YOU, I’ll make an exception!”
Melkior
That’s a consideration. Just how much ammo *does* that weapon hold? And does it use up more ammo the more powerful the blast? Or maybe it has some kind of handy-dandy slow-working auto-recharge system, perhaps harvesting ambient magical energy?
ToBeFree
Leave as is imho 🙂
Punx
“Now, LISTEN…” Bwoooom!
MegaJar
I agree with everyone else, I like the line as-is. But if you’re still looking for alternatives, how about:
“I’d tell you to never come back, but it would just go in one ear and out the other!”
“Aw, don’t run away! I didn’t mean to talk your ear off!”
“You’d better hope your criminal buddies don’t find out you were beaten by a twelve-year old girl, or you’ll never HEAR the end of it!”
HKMaly
… those are quite long lines … would give him plenty of time to get away …
David Kowis
Is Scarlet right or left handed? She’s shooting right handed, but running holding it left handed and that struck me as odd. Only asking if it’s a mistake that you’d like corrected.
Thoroughly enjoying the story and pacing! Thanks for making this and sharing it with us.
Clevershitter
That’s a hard one.
For showing that this scene is fast paced, Scarlet has to be shown with an arm lifted. The direction of action demands that the arm lifted is the right one.
For showing that the gun is heavy, it must be in the lower hand.
So poor Scarlet, though she has been consistently show as right-handed, had no choice but to change hands between Panel 2 and 4. I guess that’s one point the robber got a headstart.
Clevershitter
As we learnt: Every hero has a weakness.
Her is that she has to fit in a comic frame.
Crystalgate
Tibor is probably right, the scum does not seem to be a tough guy and will probably not engage in a fight he has a decent chance of losing. You can’t be sure though, he could easily be the grudge holding type and his ego may end up having the last say over his actions.
Scarlet’s aim was significant weaker than when she shoot at a target. This makes sense though, hitting a moving target while under the effects of adrenaline is harder than an immobile target. Taking another human’s life is also an obstacle on its own and people may subconsciously try to miss.
Nick/Tyrong
She’s a bit of a trigger happy psycho.
Granted that’s because she’s still a dumb kid with no clue as to the actual effect of her actions.
Poyntre
“Go ahead, make my day!”, or “I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse!”. But I think the best match would be “I am seeing dead wolves”.
Pappenheimer
“Grandpa, what big ears you have – woops!”
only funny if Little Red Riding Hood is a thing here, and even so, our here doesn’t seem like the taunting type.
Pappenheimer
here = hero
Random
leave panel two as it is
phoon
I just noticed a slight mistake:
Tibors injury seems to be gone in this comic. It was still visible in the last comic he was in but no trace of green on the ear now, i believe it should be visible in panel 5
Llywenna
It has three settings: Safe, Stun and Permanent……’stun’.
Disintegration saves a lot of time and evidence, and it beats digging holes
Poll
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