[0353] Typical Business Practices Of Internet Providers
└ posted on Thursday, 23 February 2012, by Novil
- Richard: I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to request my first-born daughter as payment for an internet connection.
- Armin Fish: It’s true that several lawsuits are pending in this matter. But we’ve won two of three trials and it’ll take several years until one of them reaches the Supreme Court.
- Richard: What are you doing with all these first-borns anyway?
- Armin Fish: Well, the fat and the scrawny are sent to do forced labor in North Korean coal mines or our call centers.
- Armin Fish: But for such a well-nourished calf, we have a much better use.
- Richard: Sandra, go to your room!
- Sandra: ?
![[0353] Typical Business Practices Of Internet Providers](/comics/2012-02-23-0353-typical-business-practices-of-internet-providers.png "[0353] Typical Business Practices Of Internet Providers")
uh-oh, Woo, better have your wild attack mode ready, You will need it soon.
…or just let the internet provider take Larissa first. The company won’t last 24 hours.
How will they get out of this one? I suspect Woo’s involvement!
Get em, Woo!
Anyone else notice the pointed teeth?
@ Frank:
Woo will be involved…and I hope Cloud the Ninja Boy will likewise.
@ Draccoon:
Happens also in real wourld, from time to time. I doubt we’re dealing with an elf, if that’s what you think. 😉
@ Darth Killer:
No, no elfs. Just a creeper looking for children…
I bet he’s a goblin of some sort. Wearing a disguise? Or a big bad wolf :3
wow, the “devil” as a internet provider….who knew he could sink so low?
Run Sandra, run! That big, evil, internet guy whit eye disorder are going to get you!
Oh no!
Is he planning on eating her?
How much ya wanna bet he’s either thinking of cannibalism (though why that would be is beyond me since they send away the fat ones) or something more…sexual (my first guess)?
I bet the lawyers representing StarNet is from Wolfram & Hart Attorney at Law service.
This subtle reference is brought to you by the folks of the 90s, great, now I feel old…..
Great, where is Chris Hansen when we need him the most….
@ ME:
They are eating her…. and then they’re going to eat me!….. OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAWWWWDD!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyophYBP_w4
Honestly guys, there IS a simple solution to this issue.
Use gun, and if that doesn’t work, use more gun.
Flamethrowers work too.
Hmm, are they gonna use her in the adds?
Isn’t Sandra the girl who sent a threat towards the hand of author? Does this guy really know who he’s dealing with?
Oh, and is this a longer arc, or just one where we get to the end and laugh it off?
I wanna puke.
Also I can imagine this ending with Cloud’s mother and a gun in the pedo’s mouth.
In the end we’ll feel sorry for him.
….I hope you know how creepy that is.
That man in the new and improved PETA.
Those silly internet providers can never be trusted.
Never.
I’m not sure.
Did he just call Sandra fat or is he a pedo? It can go either way, only curious.
Hmm….
I’m scrawny, which would I get, mining in North Korea, or call center. . .
intensive forced labor in a communist dictatorship, or having to deal with Starnet’s customers. . .
Hail Pie Eating King!!
I hope Cloud kicks this pedo’s butt…
Anyone else with me?
This would not and could not ever happen in the United States. Thank God. However, it occurs to me that it would be less cost effective to make them slaves as opposed to making them teenage pop stars/icons, or making use of the children for market research and psychological testing purposes. Also, I have a hard time believing that only one person would be necessary to abduct a child of Sandra’s present age in the presence of another adult unless they were dressed as a police officer.
For crying out loud, make up your mind. If Sandra is supposed to be living in a dystopian nightmare world you either need more violence or you need to have the cutest, cuddliest, sweetest, story line ever. If your goal is to simply punish the audience then congratulations you’ve succeed admirably. However, morality and values aside, if you want to communicate to the audience effectively you need to at least make an effort to engage the audience. the story as it is presently is hardly workable entertainment. At this time your comic makes ‘Bartok the magnificent’ look like riveting entertainment.
The internet is infamous for enabling pedophiles, make sense an evil isp would be a pedo. But I imagine he will be “discouraged” by one of the cast. Probably to the point of paranoia.
@ Slimecat:
You do understand it’s just a comic right? Over-analyzing it is both a waste of time and a waste of text.
only a certain part@ ME:
this is not to go well is it? but i have a feel larisa might be coming along as well -__-
@ Gamesman:
I had the exact same thought several times over the course of reading past comments.
Actually, we have no evidence this guy is really from an ISP. He could just be a lone pedo trying to con a not-so-bright father into turning over his daughter. (Trying this with a mother would be far more dangerous.)
he looks like a bloody elf devil man just what i expected a SHARK! I hope woo and Sandra beat his sorry ass into the dirt so bad hes going to wish he had a different line of work!
Armin is sick fuck, obviously.
@ Kat:
I am man! I’d love to see Cloud go ninja on this perv’s ass!
*sighs* Hold on Cloud, I’ll go and fetch the Ultima Weapon from Choco-Storage. Then you can shred his hide to pieces.
*walks away to a Chocobo Forest, holding a sprig of Gyashl Greens*
Heeere Chubby Choco-Choco-Chocoooo….
I would loose my mind if instead of him named Armin Fish, he was named Armin Aleg.
Oh hey! Nothing to fear! the scrawny ones (every single character in this comic) go to labor camps. Only well-nourished (no character in any comic industry ever) gets abused!
does this mean all isp’s are lolicons?
i didnt know he was capable of opening his eyes!
@ DHJones:
Cloud makes chop sui , Larissa cooks it (She’s got that lovely flamethrower after all) And Woo calls all his buddies to the Luau!
Kill him, warn her, bury the body.
Something fishy going on, here….
@ coyoteBR:
I hate to imagine what mayhem would ensue if Larissa was taken!
i’m sad to say my mind went right to the gutter; then i noticed his hand rubbing his stomach…
we’ve always said lawyers were blood-sucking parasites. X3
I don’t think he’s a pederast. The salivation, belly rub, pointed teeth and choice of words all seem to be pointing to an anthropophage – a predator that preys on humans. Not many predators do this by choice: humans don’t smell like regular prey animals, and the flavour is way off too – you’re something of an acquired taste for most predators. I’m not sure that we could call him a cannibal, since it’s not certain that he was ever human.
As to what he is, that’s the big question. All we can really be sure of is that he’s corporation through and through. Woo might be able to pick up some cues if he gets closer, and it would have been interesting to see whether Fish would have been able to enter the house if he wasn’t invited. His name doesn’t ring any bells, and if he is a shark or piranha, it’s not particularly consistent with everything else. I suppose, since he’s from StarNet, he might be one of those starfish aliens from Lovecraft’s Mountains of Madness, in which case… can one capture a shoggoth in a pokeball and train it?
However, this does bring us to one of the central pillars of the Lovecraftian universe: some things just don’t die, no matter how much you damage them. You get the first blow in, and then it’s tentacles a-gogo. I think that everyone should hold off until they know what they’re dealing with.
IT’S PEDOBEAR! Lock and load! Shoot to kill!!!!
“Calf”?
@ AckAckAck:
Oh you legend!!! xD
I am really happy to know that you already have the whole story written and ready, Oliver. =)