“Good evening, dear spectators. I hope you’re all ready for the final days of this year’s edition of the Hunger Games, featuring many of your favorite webcomic characters! I certainly am! Claudius, what about you?”

“I’m more than ready, Caesar! And I’m really looking forward to seeing if underdog Woo, who killed District 11’s Lilith yesterday, can actually win the Games. During the last days, this little rascal stabbed and strangled himself into the hearts of many spectators, mine included.”

“Aww, it always warms my heart when an old alliance like that between Woo and Edmund lasts until the last days of the Games.”

“That’s it, folks! The winner of this year’s Hunger Games is Woo!!”

“It couldn’t have ended any other way.”

“Indeed, Claudius, indeed.”

“I wonder if Rocky could have defeated Woo in a good clean fight to the death.”

“Unfortunately, we’ll never know.”

“District 4 must be extremely proud of their winner. I’ve never seen a more worthy winner in the history of the Games than Woo.”

“This is insane, Caesar! Woo killed six tributes and caused Nin Wah’s suicide, while all the other tributes combined only killed three!”

“I can only hope I’ll never have to face this killing machine myself. I’d probably die from just looking at him.”

“Me too, Caesar, me too.”

“I am Caesar Flickerman…”

“… and I’m Claudius Templesmith…”

“… and we hope all of you enjoyed this year’s Hunger Games!”

“See you again next year! Goodbye!”

“My name is Caesar Flickerman, and this is my co-host Claudius Templesmith. Together, we guide you through this year’s edition of the Hunger Games, featuring many of your favorite webcomic characters!”

“We’re four days into the Games and only five tributes remain after the two deaths yesterday: Rocky from District 3, Woo from District 4, Edmund from District 6, Red from District 8, and Lilith from District 11. Who’s your favorite now, Caesar?”

“Uhh, that’s a really tough question, Claudius. While Woo may have the best kill ratio so far, we also shouldn’t underestimate Lilith and Rocky. Lilith has years of extensive training on an elite academy behind her. Rocky, on the other hand, seems to have the right attitude to win the Games. One of these three will win, I’m sure. Red and Edmund don’t seem to have a chance.”

“All right. Then let’s see if you’re right.”

“It still seems a bit too early for that, Edmund…”

“Maybe Red is tougher than I thought. Fending away three other tributes isn’t an easy feat for such a small girl.”

“Yet another bold move by Woo! This little rascal is such a sly old dog! I don’t know about you, Claudius, but I’ve become a fan!”

“Lilith may have made it this far, but she just wasn’t tough enough to actually win the Games. She hasn’t killed a single other tribute until her death by Woo’s hands. You just don’t win the Games this way.”

“That’s it for today, folks. I wonder how many more days this year’s Hunger Games will last. So don’t forget to tune in tomorrow, because it could already be the last day!”

“Welcome to another day of this year’s edition of the Hunger Games, featuring many of your favorite webcomic characters!”

“But not many of them are left anymore, Caesar.”

“Yes, only seven if I counted correctly. Claudius, do you think Woo will continue his yesterday’s killing spree today?”

“Unlikely, Caesar. But let’s wait and see. Anything can happen in the arena!”

“A large group has formed, led by our current favorites Rocky and Woo. That doesn’t look good for poor Red and Phoebe.”

“They’re still so young and innocent. It’d hurt my heart to see them die.”

“District 8 and 12 must be sitting on the edges of their seats!”

“I’m surprised it took Rocky that long until his first kill. I almost placed a bet on him making his first kill right at the Cornucopia.”

“And he killed Guy with poison. He always looked more like the ‘axe murderer’ type to me.”

“The Games are always full of surprises, Claudius.”

“Yes, they are… Poor Phoebe could tell you a thing or two about it.”

“And yet another interesting day comes to an end. While District 10 and 12 mourn their dead tributes, we’re already super excited what will happen next in this year’s Hunger Games! So don’t forget to tune in tomorrow. Same place, same time!”

“Good evening. We’re Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith, your hosts for this year’s edition of the Hunger Games, featuring many of your favorite webcomic characters!”

“And we’re both still shocked how many lives yesterday’s arena event took. But our dear tributes are certainly even more shocked than we are. So let’s see how they’ll cope with this horrible, horrible bloodbath.”

“That’s not very nice, Woo.”

“But effective!”

“Indeed, Claudius, indeed.”

“Most tributes seem to ignore the feast this year. I expected a little more of this event, I have to say.”

“Yes, but Woo really seems to be on a killing spree. Yesterday Ship, then little Laurie, and now Commander Kitty. This mischevious little rascal takes no prisoners! Although he wasn’t among my favorites, we really have to take a closer look at him now.”

“Do you think Nin Wah had deeper feelings for Commander Kitty?”

“It almost looks like it, Claudius. What a tragic death…”

“Interesting. Woo does seem to have a conscience. Now let’s see if it plays out for Edmund that he kept Woo alive. If Woo’s able to pull himself together, he’ll make a hell of an ally.”

“Woo, from District 4, was responsible for all of today’s deaths in one form or the other. But the other tributes are just one lucky shot away from killing him. So while the odds seem to be in his favor, he’s still far away from winning the Games. So don’t forget to tune in tomorrow to watch the Games as they’re in their full swing!”

“I am Caesar Flickerman,…”

“… and I’m Claudius Templesmith, …

“… your hosts for this year’s edition of the Hunger Games, featuring many of your favorite webcomic characters!”

“Marigold and Indefinite Hiatus already lost their lives during the carnage at the Cornucopia. Now let’s see how the other tributes make it through the first night and the second day.”

“The mood still seems to be good among our tributes, but I’m sure this will change in the foreseeable future.”

“Most certainly, Caesar.”

“The first alliances are forming and… Wait, what is this…? Could it be? … Yes, an arena event! Do you remember the last Games with an arena event this early in the competition, Claudius?”

“No, Caesar. This may almost be a new record.”

“What a bloodpath…!”

“Incredible, Caesar, simply incredible! I’ve lost count, but it certainly feels like we’ve already lost half of our tributes. I think a minute of silence is appropriate in this dark hour for so many of our spectators.”

“…”

“Whoa! More than half of the tributes are already dead, including our favorite Sette. If the Games keep going like that, they’ll go down in history as the shortest Games ever!”

“Now let’s not think of the worst, Claudius. I’m sure we’ll still see a lot of interesting fights during the rest of the week. So tune in tomorrow to watch our broadcast of the next day of this year’s Hunger Games!”