[0352] The Fine Print
└ posted on Monday, 20 February 2012, by Novil
- Armin Fish: Good morning, Mr. North, I’m Armin Fish from your internet provider, StarNet. Unfortunately, we’ve found that you’re behind on your payments.
- Richard: ?
- Richard: Huh? I’ve always paid on time. $24.99 a month for the first 6 months and $39.99 after that.
- Armin Fish: I see you haven’t studied our payment terms carefully enough.
- Fine print: ExtraPLUS: Offer ends on 01/31/11, and is limited to new residential customers with children. After 6 months, the monthly service charge goes to $39.99. After 12 months, or if any service is cancelled or downgraded, the customer provides a compulsory one-time payment in the form of his/her first-born son, or, if not available, first-born daughter.
SKYNET?!…O.O
Armin sure doesn’t change expression. Must be the botox.
“Dang it, I KNEW something was wrong when they made me sign the contract with my own blood…”
Maybe the child of Sandra and Cloud will lead the resistance against the future Skynet, and this guy is a terminator sent to prevent their union…
Dude’s got a lot of guts, showing up on a man’s doorstep with paperwork demanding a man’s first-born child.
Changed SkyNet to StarNet since it didn’t really make sense.
Blitz wrote:
I had to do that once to get a student version of Macromedia Studio.
I wonder if he still smiles after Woo is done with him
My response to this comic can be summarized into a soundbyte from the popular professional wrestling based webshow Botchamania. It goes a little something like this:
“Huh?”
As Tom Waits famously said, “The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.”
Can they secretly switch Sandra with Larisa? I want to see how long they survive her :3
All North American ISPs are run by Satan himself. The guys in Korea measure internet in TERABYTES PER SECOND (too bad everything in censored >_<).
I wonder if they’ve considered just exactly how Cloud and Ye Thuza are going to take this? Exactly?
There’s a wireless network that shows up from time to time near my place called ‘SKYNET’ I often wonder if i should be worried about that..
Hmm…does that mean that they’ll pay the costs of raising her and her future schooling? Might be worth it….
LupisLight wrote:
Well I also seen a Skynet here as well so theres more than one.
Ah the fine print. Always read the fine print.
Time for Cloud to engage in some “aggressive renegotiations.”
Hum… I don’t get it… My ISP is very straightforward. 35.98€ a month for the Net/Cable/Phone/BD player rental/250Go NAS and no fine print… but then I’m french… maybe it’s a north american thing?
Actually, fine print is uses ink made from blood of firstborn children, and due to this appears only after contract is signed.
They’re just here to resupply.
@ kawaiipikachu:
You’re forgetting that SkyNet is fictive, and whoever is calling themself that is only doing so because he/she has seen Terminator, and wants to be intiminating.
It might just be someone who wants free internet and doesn’t want to be chased… worst case scenario is it’s a groupe of hackers who likes to freak people out.
As a basic contract, it contravenes statute law and hence is unenforceable.
As a retail contract (i.e. business to consumer), consumer protection laws also make it unenforceable.
The Principle of Equity also directs that it should be unenforceable.
The Law of Comeuppance also makes it unenforceable in the long term, and will exact penalties of a humourous nature against vexatious attempts to enforce it in the short term.
The Principle of Force Majeur will demonstrate that it is unenforceable de jure and also de facto. The Principles of Force Nuage, Force Ange Bravé and Force Oue will demonstrate de facto that the plaintiffs represented in this case are due the sort of scragging that will render them physically unable to pursue it to conclusion. The Principle of Feu Larise will, de facto, cause the already overstretched Fire Department more work than it can possibly deal with.
In conclusion, I believe this contract to be illegal, unenforceable and scary in its consequences for all concerned, and I move that it be voided and this case dismissed before someone gets hurt. Or set alight. Your Honour.
See that? That is why I use open WiFi.
This blatant violation of the spirit, if not letter, of the Thirteenth Amendment of course cannot go unpunished…
I too predict a Procyonical comeuppance… to be followed by punishment for the crimes of Slavery And Unlawful Imprisonment… to be punished by a combination of fines, incarceration… and additional Procyonical ravagement.
May the perpetrators of these Vile Crimes Against Humanity be Cursed with an Infection Of Rabies and the Suffering And Expiration To Which It Leads, by the Teeth And Claws of the Duly Appointed And Designated Agents And Instruments Of Retribution, and so suffer the pain and indignity thereof, by the Word, the Tooth, the Claw, and the Virus, and let us say… Amen.
Sure StarNet, you can take Sandra with you. but I don’t want to hear your plea for help when a Raccoon terrorize your office, a pissed off boyfriend/one man army send your employees to hospital and a grade S Pyromaniac goes berserk in your office.
Enter Cloud, stage left.
Also, compulsory “what.”
If it gets to that point, I would guess “Rumplestiltskin.”
Also, not to be morbid, but what if the person’s only child dies?
Empress of Northia appoints Cloud as Defender of the Realm, points him at Starnet with promises of gratitude ( much smoochies) upon completion of task. Result :Sic Semper Tyrannis Starnet.
The guy from Skynet sure looks like Rumpelstiltskin.
DanialArin wrote:
Not possible, Woo has had all of his shots.
You should have added “if neither are available, you have to provide us with one of your arms, and one of your legs.
@ Nyerguds:
I’d Pay MONEY to see that!!!!
“I’m sorry, Cloud. Princess Sandra is in the other castle”
@ Rowf:
One word: Reinforcement.
Tibor and Lily to the rescue!
I think Armin is going to end like Mr. Farley in strip #8.
If enforced it will de facto result in force majeur.
Well…. Now I see that S.Korea has a very good network service…
Hmm….Might be that glass of lemonade in the summer finally catching up to our verbally careless heroine.
…And on that note Sandra walks in after ‘playtime’ with Woo.
Evidently the Hand of God isn’t done with Sandra yet.
Note to characters: It is not a good idea to mess with the author… 🙂
Hmm.. reminds me of T-com… so happy that I changed my ISP this year… 🙂
Ooooooh… this is going to be fun!
@ Rowf:
But i haven’t! heehee! 🙂 Come here Mr.StarNet…..*CHOMP*
The deed is done! and now time to RUN before the ASCPA catches up!
Wolf in Bears Clothing (its the last thing they’d suspect)
above coment was in responce to Rowf wrote:
Wolf in Bears Clothing (its the last thing they’d suspect)
There are 2 CONFIRMED epic badasses in that house, one of them being the aforementioned firstborn. This is going to be interesting, and probably hilarious.
“Payment in the form of a first-born child”?
SOMEBODY CALL DATELINE NBC, WE NEED TO MAKE THAT GUY TAKE A SEAT OVER THERE.
I don’t get why everybody thinks cloud and co. should get involved. I think Richard should knock out the starnet guy and then take the issue to court when he wakes up before he can hightail it outta there.
I can see it now…
Richard: But I didn’t sign up for the ExtraPLUS, just for the standard service!
@ Greenwood Goat:
absolutely correct
in the real world
@ Strato:
I kind of hate you for that 0.0